Thursday, March 10, 2011

lesson for today: do not ride if your mind wasn't on the road

i do not know who to talk to. im sorry dear bloggie, you have always been the place where i express and let my sadness or anger out. i mean, recently. 
im sorry.

usually i'll get home and start to blurb evrythings out to my sister or any of my family members but today, idk, i just dont feel like it. there is like SO MANY things that i've think about today.
apa ni, balik terus ke situ
see, i've thought so. but i'll remain silent. its true wht they're saying
if you know me well you will be curious about my ke-pelik-an now, because i am thnkng the same too

i langgar a car today

its not lah totally crashed but its the fact that i LANGGAR A CAR OKAY. i seriously dont know wht i was thinking.

i was on my way to wangsa walk (wawa) with my officemates after work and i went there by motorcycle. its my dad's. i've been using it recently to work and places near by. i was on the center between the two lanes. you get wht i mean, the center between the right and left lane? where motorcycles riders menyelit2? and me also lah one of the riders yg suka menyelit tu kan. except if there is a bus or lorry, mmg tak lah, i'll just get back on the right lane, i mean not kanan lane but the correct lane. yes thts the word.

but today got no bus or lorry, ada sikit happy kat situ tp ada byk tak happy lepas tu. the traffic light is yellow. i see that. but my mind cannot see that. my mind was not even seeing the road or any cars in front or behind neither besides. and it was not controlling the hand that was pressing the minyak. my hand which does not has a mind sesukahati press lagi laju sampai lah GEDEBANGGGGG!


my mind is back on track

yea, perfect timing lah kan.

and only now it controlled the hand who then pressed the brake . the traffic light turned red. i reversed my motorcycle to see wht happened to that green Saga car. first thing i saw is a mad man face

 ehh, jgn lah marah cik jap2

i reversed a lil bit more feeling very cuak kebebeh, check check check, Alhamdulillah, it seems tht the car is doin just fine (jap ayat ni mcm kereta tu hidup pula kan. doin just fine) that man pon came out to see his car's condition and i can sensed tht he is relieved and dah tak mrh sgt to see nothing bad happened.

i was, doing the best pity face ever saying things to apologize and settle the problem nicely
sorry lah encik tadi otak saya, entah lah, melayang. bukan kat jalan, tak perasan bawa laju tak sempat nak ngelak betuul2, minta maaf sgt2. ni nak byr apa2 tak?
something like that. being nice of him, his responds was

ha takpelah klu cmni takde nak byr apa, tulah lain kali nak bawa laju2 kat highway, eh
i saw his wife and a lil kid like 2 tahun duduk atas riba mama dia, i think he understood, plus im a girl kan. Alhmdulillah. thank you mister.

being happy i am, i feel so ashamed deep down inside, peoples around were looking at us, but i just pi lantak depa lah. and now the light turned green. syukur again..

im putting my left foot on the pedal to change the gear. ehh? mana benda ni? i looked down. pedal sekarang dah pergi kebelakang

feeling so shocked, i was about to cry. how stupid. how come drive tp otak melayang tempat lain? nak ckp bangang, ckp tu satu doa, takkan nak doa jd bangang kot. so the eyes cannot hold the tears any longer. it finally falls down

i find a place to stop. i pressed the minyak a lil bit more to go a lil bit faster, vrroom vroom vreek?

oh no. dont tell me the engine goes wrong somewhere. oh my God, ya Allah......
i parked my motorcycle besides a busstop near by. the first person tht crossed my mind is Azam. idk,
at this time and this kind of problems i'll always find him, as he is good about motorcycles and being a very good friend of mine, i know he is willing to hear and help the best tht he can. and yes, he did.

now im going to have to take my motorcycle to bengkel, asked them to fix or wht they call, ketuk the place where i put my feet which i call pedal according to my kamus sesukahati. about the engine maybe bcs of the hentakan just now, im afraid to ask org bengkel to fix it incase if they are lying kan. so i called cik Wan, my bos. why do i called him and not cik Alif who is the other bos and who is also yg menjaga kebajikan pekerja semua, bcs cik Wan nmpk cam ada lah kot kwn yg kerja2 bengkel ni kan so tomorrow he is goin to see first lah. why not on tht time? its 6.10 pm dude, im watching movie at 6.30 pm. so yeah, lets just pray to Allah as He knows best. (yeah yeah konon dalam hati ni ya Allah ya Allahh....)

while heading to wangsa walk i remembered my dialogues with the officemates few minutes before

Ala Farha jom lah teman kita, naik lah dgn kitaa
OK jom
the rest - ehh tak payah, dah lah takde helmet apa, takde2 naik cab dgn ktorg
Alaaa. fine ah. kalau apa2 jadi kat kita nantiii haa  

Astaghfirullahalazim, masinnya mulut.

istighfar banyak2.

now im waiting for abang's Farha help to ask if his friends can help me on this. seriously, im not gonna tell my parents. i am not going to tell them. im gonna settle this my self. 

i do not want my parent to have bad impression to me, or think that i cannot jaga stuffs elok2 as i accidentally without any intention, broke and damaged stuffs many times before. so i dont want lah. i also dont know lah why i always like this. barang kat tangan ada je something wrong. why la whyy? dengan lens rosak nak repair kena byr smpai seghibu hengget. dengan sales tak smpai 50 ribu pon lagi. ya Allah, aku tahu dugaan ni kecil je kalau nak dibandingkan dgn org lain. aku tahu kau sdg mengajar aku ya Allah. oleh itu, bantulah aku supaya aku dapat belajar membetulkan kesalahanku atau apa2 yg patut aku pelajari dari semua yg berlaku ini..

this time, on my way back home, for the first time to ride motorcycle from wawa at night,

rasa mcm nampak.. sesuatu...

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