MY NAME IS FARAH NABILAH A.R. AND THIS IS A LOVE SHARING. WELCOME AND MAY PEACE BE UPON YOU :)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Islam akan menang

bismillahirrohmahirrohim

aku terkesan benar bila mendengarkan terjemahan surah 17 (Al-Isra') : ayat 81

' dan katakanlah, "kebenaran telah datang dan yang batil telah lenyap." 
Sungguh, yang batil itu pasti lenyap '

oleh itu, para daie sekalian, jgn takut utk memperjuangkan agama Allah. jgn takut utk mengatakan yg benar. jgn takut utk mengamalkan amar makruf nahi mungkar. sebab Islam akan menang! yg hak pasti akan datang.


Allah beritahu  Lupakah kamuu akan firman Allah

dalam surah Ali-Imran, ayat seratuss empat! (nada-ustaz-sauki)

' Dan hendaklah di antara kamu ada segolongan orang yang menyeru kepada kebajikan, menyuruh(berbuat) yang makruf, dan mencegah dari yang mungkar. Dan mereka itulah orang2 yg beruntung. '

utk kita yg sedar, dakwah itu suatu kewajipan utk setiap muslim.
utk mereka yg tegar, dakwah itu suatu kewajipan utk para ustaz ustazah shj.

sdgkan Allah dah tunjuk dgn terang jelas nyata lagi bersuluh. janganlah kita berasa gentar dengan persepsi dan cemuhan masyarakat. jiwa seorang pendakwah harus cekal. hidup dan mati hanya utk Allah. bila hidup dan mati hanya utk Allah, nescaya kita tidak akan gentar dgn halangan2 dan cercaan musuh2 Islam. mmg Allah dah maklumkan pd kita dlm surah Al-Maidah : ayat 54 bhw kaum yg dicintai Allah dan mereka pon mencintai Allah, tidak takut dgn celaan org yg suka mencela

ye, kawan2, musuh2 Islam takkan pernah berhenti drpd menyekat kegiatan dakwah ini. dakwah pd agama Allah, di jalan yg lurus.

Image Detail

kalau nak dibandingkan dgn umat2 pada zaman Nabi dahulu mmg laah tersangat jauh lagi ketara bezanya. dan mmg kaum pada zaman Rasulullah adlh kaum yg terbaik pon. zaman skrg, orang takut utk menyatakan yg hak, sebab nak selamat. ada yg takut utk memperjuangkan agama Allah sebab takut hilang periuk nasi. lihatlah, nilai iman mereka, hanyalah setakat sebuah periuk nasi stainless-steel itu saja. tak ingatkah mereka bhw Allah- lah yg memberi rezeki? kalau dahulu, sahabat2 diseksa. ingat lagi keluarga Yassir? diseksa dgn begitu kejam di hadapan anak mereka sndiri, Ammar. Sumaiyyah, umi Ammar, wanita pertama mati syahid. Bilal bin Rabah, tidak perlu lah aku ulas lagi bgaimana dia diseksa di tgh2 panas, disebat dan diletakkan batu besaar di atas badannya. 

Hanya kerana apa? HANYA kerana mereka beriman..

kata seorang tokoh

" Sudahkah kamu mengerti dan betul2 faham apa itu Islam? sesudah kamu mengerti, sudahkah kamu pegang ia seteguh2nya? dan sesudah kamu pegang ia seteguh2nya, sudahkan kamu menyebar2kannya? "
menurut Rasulullah S.A.W, apabila tiba akhir zaman, berdakwah dan berpegang kepada Islam adalah spt menggenggam bara api. 

sebab fitnah2 akan bertaburan dan banyak halangan2 dr musuh2 Islam
oleh itu, genggamlah bara api itu seerat-eratnya. 

jadikan Syurga matlamat kita. dan jalan menuju syurga, memang takkan sunyi dgn onak duri. tp kita mencari kebahagiaan, biarlah yg berkekalan. berfikir panjang, biar lah betul2 panjang. apa salahnya, 
berakit2 ke hulu, berenang2 ke tepian, bersusah2 dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian.

dan senang yg kemudian ini, masyaAllah, selama2 nya!
Image Detail

Monday, October 17, 2011

tengok2! 



muka happy
 
 


dan muka tak menipu :)



 kan betul. hati pon senyum. siap nampak gigi arnab lagi alahai


Saturday, October 15, 2011

risau

bismillahirrahmanirrohim

aku risau. ye, dr awal cuti lagi aku risau. aku risau aku makin jauh dr Dia. aku risau dgn persekitaran dan waktu yg terlalu lapang membuatkan aku makin alpa dan lalai dr mengingati Dia. Dia yg tak pernah melupakanku. aku bukan nak emosional. tp mmg aku ber-emosi. tiba2 mood aku nak ckp 'aku'. aku sedih aku geram aku risau.

kdg2 aku rasa mcm lebih suka mengasingkan diri dgn dunia luar. bukan utk jd anti-social. tp aku risau. aku tidak suka dgn kebanyakan pemandangan yg ada di dunia kini tp pd masa yg sama aku juga risau sbb aku ada nafsu. dan di sekeliling aku ada byk syaitan2 yg aku tidak lihat juga yg aku lihat. syaitan yg bertopengkan manusia. 

syaitan. jahat. aku tak suka kau. malah aku benci

aku tau kau pandai. kau kalau dtg nak hasut aku, kau tak dtg bodoh2. kau dtg cantik2. kau dtg dgn penuh perhiasan dan kau suka sgt buat apa yg hak dan batil nampak samar2. walau mcm mana cerdik pon kau. aku tak takut kat kau. sbb aku ada Allah. dan aku akan sentiasa doa dgn Allah supaya lindungi aku drpd kau. hanya dgn kuasa dan izin Allah aku takkan termakan dgn hasutan kau. dan kau sendiri tahu, Allah itu Maha Pengasih dan Maha Berkuasa. aku ulang lagi sekali, aku tak takut dgn kau.



aku cuma risau dgn diri sendiri.

tp diri sendiri bukan kesihatan yg aku risaukan, bukan harta yg aku risaukan, tp iman.
iman yg paling aku risaukan. aqidahku. 

aku tak mahu mudah goyah. 

sebab aku milik Allah

"MilikNya lah apa yg ada di langit, apa yg ada di bumi, apa yg ada di antara keduanya, dan apa yg ada di bwh tanah"
20 : 6 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

mindset

bismillahirrahmanirrohim

hari ini hampir stgh hari ana di NSK Selayang. Alhamdulillah, spjg buat kerja kat sana, Allah buka mata ana utk lihat sendiri perkara yg tak mungkin ana lebih yakin tanpa melihatnya sendiri.

bila bercakap ttg pendatang asing, kbykan org kita tarik muka.

"penyibuk" "mcm takde negara sendiri" "curi rezeki orang"

ye mmg benar, ini negara kt. mmg benar, mrk warga asing. mmg benar, kbykan mrk dtg ke sini utk mncari rezeki. tp ingatkah kita, bhw.ini.bumi.Tuhan. sedarkah kita, mereka itu juga insan samaa seperti kita. oleh itu, cuba kita lihat dr segi kemanusiaannya sendiri. cuba bygkan kalau kita lah, mesti lagi prefer nak kerja kat tanah air sendiri kan. tempat di mana kita lahir, membesar, di mana semua org ckp bahasa yg kita faham dan difahami. maka semua pon lebih memahami. tp disebabkan desakan kehidupan, mrk2 ini terpaksa berhijrah utk sara hidup. utk bina kehidupan yg lebih baik. dan atas faktor inilah, kita sendiri boleh prove dgn mata kasar kita sendiri, nilai dan mutu kualiti kerja yg mereka bagi.

they work really hard. bcs they know, they need the money. even it is just a little. cuba kita lihat pula pd org kita. bukan ana nak memperkecilkan org kita sndiri, tp utk kita jadikan pengajaran dan teladan. krn hakikatnya org kita ni terlalu manja dgn subsidi2 and opportunities yg kerajaan sediakan utk kita so kt ambil sambil lewa je dgn peluang2 yg ada dpn mata. yg kita boleh grab mcm tu je pdhal warga lain perlu berlari, memecut, memanjat just to get that peluang. bila bagi job, nak jawatan tinggi2 nak status over the pagar je. bila bagi tugasan, buat takat siapp je itu pon bagi byk alasan bila kena complain. sama juga la mcm student2 U yg dh dpt peluang nk smbung blaja tp assignment suruh org lain buatkan, blaja tak bersungguh2 sbb dia tauu, kerajaan blh tolong. ok ni dah agak melencong sbb ikut perasaan bila teringat stgh2 org kita yg tak faham erti 'penghargaan'

tadi dekat NSK, ana tolong bestfriend ana Siti Naquiah, buat survey harga barang2. masa tu ana tgh nak tulis harga kuew teow tp price tag dia tak clear. dah pudar. so ana tye lah sorang pekerja lelaki yg kebetulan ada kat situ. dia tgh buat kerja dgn sorang lg kawan dia. bila ana minta tolong dia pon cuba lah utk tgok brpe hrga kuew teow tu, bila lama tak dpt jwpn, kwn dia yg tadi buat kerja dgn sorang lg kwn dia yg jauh sikit drpd situ dtg sekali, sebab nak tahu apa masalah and NAK TOLONG SEKALI selesaikan masalah customer sorang ni. bila dh lama belek2, buat short meeting dgn bhs yg ana tak fhm kat situ, end up kwn dia sorang ni angkut kuewteow tu bawa pg mana ana tak tahu tp bila dia balik, jwpn sudah ada dlm otak dia. tak ke rajin dan mesra pelanggan tu?

itu satu, dua. ana nak cari bhgian roti tp tak jumpa. tau2 jelah NSK selayang tu gabak mana. so ana pon tye lah sorang pekerja yg kebetulan juga ada kat situ. ana tye kat mana eh bhgian roti.

oh roti? sini
tgh dia dok atas tangga tu letak2 brang, boleh stop buat kerja, dia tuuurun tangga tu, jalan sekali tunjuk kat ana bgian roti tu. mak aii bang oi, baik terlebih ni, just cakap je pon saya dah berterima kasih apatah lagi turun jalan semua ni. subhanAllah

and ada lah lagi 2 3 perkara yg buat ana rasa nak belanja je diorang semua sbb dgn bersemangat dan nampak lah wajah ikhlas diorang, susah2 tolong kitorang. and they also are very coorperative with each other.

itu jelah ana nk cerita sbnrnya. bukan ana nak meng-exxagerate-kan diorang ni. tidak sama sekali. cuma ana nak lah kita ambil nilai2 murni yg ada kat diorang ni walaupun diorang ni warga asing. walaupun warna kulit berbeza. bukan tiada org kita yg mcm ni. adaaa. mmg ada. tp tak salah kan utk kita tahu dan teladani perkara ni utk kt menambah dan memperbaik mutu kualiti diri kita sebagai warganegara Malaysia sendiri ?



*ana sbnrnya nak close post ni dgn ayat AlQuran atau hadis tp ana tak dpt nak recall ayat brpe surah brpe, hadis riwayat siapa so ana tak boleh main sesuka hati je letak. ye, diri ini masih terlalu kecil. terlalu kecil utk dunia yg besar. apatah lagi dgn pengetahuan. pengetahuan yg dimana, dibentangkan satu lautan luas, maka celuplah satu jari mu di dalamnya dan angkat lah ia. pengetahuan di mana takat itu shj lah pngetahuan manusia dan pengetahuan Allah meliputi seluruh lautan itu. byk lagi yg perlu diperbaiki, yg perlu digapai. 


doakan ana.. 


assalamualaikum

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

u.j.i.a.n

bismillahirrahmanirrahim


ujian.. somehow i realize that, Allah turunkan ujian tu pd benda2 yg kita concern almost the most. u see, for example, a person, yg mmg very worried and concern about her studies, tiba2 something happened ke towards her tht makes her result not as what she expected, or anything lah kan. though that person has tried his/her best to get the best result tp Allah turunkan ujian yang pasti, pasti ada pelajaran di sebalik ujian itu. another person pula, yg ada masalah dgn seorang insan yg dia sayangi, lets say kekasih hati and something goes wrong somewhere about the relationship. even how hard u try to solve it but there is time when unexpected things happen in future bcs of the uncontrollable factor. in short, the ujian, always revolve around those or things you concern about. or not, YET. 


in the end, the believers will turn to Him again.


maka, bersabar lah.. 


dan sabar itu pula ada tiga iaitu


1) sabar dalam menunaikan perintah Allah
2) sabar dalam meninggalkan serta menjauhi larangan Allah
3) sabar dalam menghadapi ujian yg menyayat hati


kebanyakan manusia selalu kata sabar bila ujian menimpa. tapi ketahuilah sabar dalam menunaikan perintah Allah dan meninggalkan larangan Allah, lebih tinggi darjatnya dr sabar yg ke3. 


contohnya, seorg perempuan yg baru memakai tudung, maka bersabar lah menurut perintah, nah kalau dia tidak bersabar, baru kena perli atau ejek dgn kawan2 sudah geram rasanya goyah imannya nescaya tdung yg dipakai itu dicabut. betul tak? 

"...hanya orang2 yg bersabarlah yg disempurnakan pahalanya tanpa batas
39 : 10

oleh itu kawan2, what im trying to emphasize here, mungkin selama ni kita asyik nasihat org lain, or ingatkan diri kita supaya bersabar hanya apabila ada ujian menimpa kita. tp ingat lah, dlm kita melaksanakan perintah Allah, dlm kita meninggalkan larangan Allah itu adanya sabar yg menguatkan kita supaya terus2 an istiqomah. dan sabar itu lah yg lebih tinggi darjatnya. 

aku bangkit dari lena
sabar itu - 
dibina.utk.membina

Saturday, October 8, 2011

you..

cuba bgtau sikit. mcm mana you dari powerpuff girl boleh tukar jd ultraman hah?

Image Detail


hmm kawan :) sbnrnya, bukan lah dia berubah jd ultraman. bukan juga superman. tp mungkin..

berubah kembali mjadi manusia biasa.
ye, kembali kpd fitrah..

powerpuff girl mahupun ultraman, realitinya, kedua2 nya bukan realiti. hidup dlm dunia yg tiada arah tujuan serta panduan hidup yg tetap. setinggi mana pon mereka terbang, namun tak pernah boleh melepasi langit yg terbentang luas. tak pernah jumpa penghujungnya bukan. penat.. mengejar suatu yg tidak hakiki

oleh itu, kembali lah pd fitrah.

fitrah yg suka kan hidup yg tenang. fitrah manusia, agama apa pun mereka, sudah menjadi fitrah suka kan kebaikan, suka kan kejujuran, suka kan kebahagiaan dalam kehidupan.

namun, kebahagiaan yg dicari, adakah terhenti dalam kehidupan di dunia shj?

anda diberi pilihan. anda penentunya.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Allah itu Maha Penyayang. sungguh

i just realize that whenever we want to do anything, say bismillah. as whatever we do in this world is nothing but to get the redho from Allah and we do it bcs of Him and with His permission. so yea, 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
i'll make it a practise, insyaAllah :)

so, i would actually like to share a story. happened to me last few days. which i think might be good and have some virtue that we can get from

last Thursday, i had my Sociology and Anthropology marathon quiz. the lecturer did explain the instruction about it but i can't hear her very well. well i was not really focusing actually. yea thats what will happen when you study last minute and still trying to memorize even it's already time to start the quiz. ngeh. and so what i understood was that we will be having 2 hours quiz on that day, and for the last 15-minutes, we can refer to the book. memang best gilak lah kan. and  for next week, we will have another one hour quiz. so i proceed with answering. few minutes later, i heard lecturer answering one student's question. she said 'yes, write your final answer in pen'. thus i followed that instruction. answering almost 15 x 5 plus 5 x 5 which isss

where is the phone. searching for calculator...

oh ya, 100 questions! and there are about 35 questions that i circled cause im thinking of checking them in the book for the last 15 minutes. thanks to Allah, i got some misunderstanding in one question and i recheck about the last 15 minutes open book to the lecturer, asking her is it true. 

'oh no Farah, that is for another one hour, next week'

my god! ye ke? so i rushed answering the 'in about 35 ques' left. and yemmy there were a buuundleee of questions which i actually acknowledge but i forgot the term and some of the ques confused me. i can totally find the answer in a spur of time if i can open the book cause i really know them! i just forgot the term. argh. and there you go, i finished answering almost all of them, using pen. i was quite anxious when some of the students asking lecturer if they can go back early and postpone the duration for the next quiz. really anxious actually, but i just put it aside, does not really matter in this critical minutes

me, Syahiirah and Halim were the last persons to leave the class. Syahiirah checked in the book whether her answer is right or wrong and asked me what did i answer for this que this que. suddenly, a voice being heard

'wey yang korang nak risau2 ni asal, next week kan ada lagi one hour'

and my inner self feedback sounds like 

'la, next week kan quiz lain pula. oh maybe she means nxt week buat betul2 la so blh cover yg ni. ok i get it'

hence, walking happily with Amrah, did our consultation for speaking test with English lecturer, done our prayer and finally bought foods for dinner.

wow, nasi lemak pandan. green in colour. sniff sniff. smells goooood

'jom Amrah, beli nasi hijau ni'

'jommm'

'eh Nini, beli ni juga' my question to one of my classmate while dipping the rice and choosing side dishes.

'yup. eh td lambatnya korang keluar. kau jawab semua eh?'

'aah. asal? boleh ke -tak jawab- semua?'

'laa next week kan jwb booklet yg sama'

'haaaa?!!!!' 

'la, kau tak tahu ke. kita sebenarnya ada 3 jam. tadi 2 jam je. so, next week sambung lagi satu jam. and last 15 minutes boleh refer buku. kau jawab guna pen ke tadi? semua?'

'ha laah. maknanya boleh tukar lah next week jwpn2 aku tu?'

'haa tak boleh lah. sebab madam akan tanda hari ni. kiranya kalau kau dah guna pen, itu final answer kau, and madam akan tanda semua tu, kau tak boleh tukar dah. unless kau guna pensel or tinggal tempat kosong, itu consider kau x jawab lagi la'

my heart beat faster. i felt like being punched in the gut. i felt so low, i felt so frustrated i felt so dumb so idiot so bangang so and so on lah. ya Allah.. with watery eyes, i just end the conversation there. i turned to Amrah. we both have paid for the nasi hijau, i walked away from the kiosk, directing back to mahallah from this boys mahallah. my face was closed with books that im holding. i cant stand this any longer

tears rolled down on my cheek

dropped, and keep on droping..

i cant stop this im sorry! Amrah was all shocked, asking me what happened and tried to coax me.

im sorry i could not handle these tears. there is no hope left. everyone is going to get full marks and im not one of them while actually i can be one of them. if only i hear the instructions well, if only! if only i asked madam the instruction again, if only! this is like a free-marks and i did not get it because of my foolish-carelessness! and its Soca. subject that i aimed to score for next quizzes or exam. subject where many unfavorable things happened to my results. 

flashback.

on the first quiz, i aimed to get 8 out of 10 because there was only 1 question that i did not know. but i got 6 over 10. the first question wants me to define sociology TECHNICALLY but i defined it LITERALLY. bcs i did not know the differences before! while i actually have memorized both of them. ah.

for exam, Alhamdulillah the result was okay but it was the lowest mark among any other subjects that i have answered.

for the group assignment, one of our group members did not accomplish to complete her part so we were given sanction for one day late submission. Alhamdulillah, from 2 marks that were going to be deducted, lecturer changed her mind being kind-hearted reducing it to only 1. and Alhamdulillah, the mark is okay but still, there were always something happened that make the marks falled dowwnnn.

and now, this.

this is totally my fault. there is no other solution for this. thats it Farah. nothing can be done to fix this. its.hopeless.

i called Ibu. i cried on the phone. Ibu is the one who i will turned to when im down. it has always been her. eeeverytime. after Allah of course. but that day, it just didn't work. i still felt the same way

Amrah has gone to the dorm. i asked her to. i need time to be alone. i searched for place to cry. 
its almost Maghrib. usually benches are empty on this time. but that day, it were fulled with people. so i went back to dorm. i still want a place to cry! and this is so not the place. malu lah org nmpak. hence, i went to musolla (surau) eventhough it is farrr away from my dorm. 

i entered the musolla. i walked to the front side. i sat down. i, you know what happened next. yes, crying

suddenly, i heard a voice coming from my back

'awak' 
i turned around, i saw Ain. a girl which i barely know, i always saw her at the musolla when i went there studying and yea i did talked to her before and thats it.

'awak ok?' she came closer
'awk, kenapa ni..'

'tak, tadi ..........' the story begins
at first she did not really understand my story so she said 'nevermind, bring liquid next week then padam lah jwpn tu'

'tak boleh, sebab Madam akan tanda yg kita dah jwb dgn pen. so kt boleh jwb yg kosong je. and kt dh jwb almost semua dgn pen. and byk hentam'

'ohh. hmm awk mcm ni. awk call je madam. awk cerita je masalah awk kat madam. lps tu awk merayu2 je lah kat madam minta tlg pape. awk buat dulu. awk jgn putus asa. try dulu'

she urged me to tell Madam though i still feel its useless. bcs my lecturer is quite strict and what i ever think of her answer was 'oh tak boleh nak buat apa lah Farah.. dh jadi camtu kan'
 but i just nodded my head to her

adhan Maghrib echo
she then perform her prayer. i took the abulation and i waited for her to finish. she came to me afterwards

'awk, nak pinjam telekung boleh?'
'sure' 'oh awk, lagi satu, Allah, takkan bagi ujian kat hamba Dia..'

'di luar kemampuannya' i said to my heart what i thought that she was going to say. i am very familiar with the word already

but i was wrong.

'Allah, takkan bagi ujian kat hamba Dia, tanpa sebab' 'semua ni mesti ada sebab. dan sebab tu mesti ada kebaikan dia tau'
i just smile as a symbol of appreciation as thats the only thing that im capable to do now. m heart still, idk, i just dont know how bad i felt that time. its all mixed up. im so weak, ujian mcm ni pon tak boleh nak bear ke Farah. be strong be strong. 

i then, started my prayer. suddenly, someone laid her prayer mat besides mine. and i was about to ruku' and she followed me. means she wanted to do congregational prayer with me! in this condition? seriously? i just, ok, redho Farah. Allah bantu, teruskan. so with 'that' condition, i become the imam. Alhamdulillah, i finished the prayer, do short 'taaruf' with her. when she left, i said my prayer to Allah. to my only Lord. i know He was listening.

i stood up, opened the telekung, walked to Ain.

'nah,saya nak awk dgr lagu ni' she gave me the earphone. 

pls, listen to this song dear readers :)



this is when everything changed. i cried again. more tears rolled down, but this time, i was smiling :)

...to be continue












Friday, August 19, 2011

18 hari berlalu, 12 hari mendatang


kalau aku sempat..


bismillahirrahmanirrohim

Assalamualaikum :)

ana di library lagi utk post ini. ana rindu sgt dekat rumah, tapi ana tak dpt balik minggu ni sebab ana join iftar di masjid UIA Gombak. diorang ckp masjid diorg cantik, lepas tu imam dia pak Arab so rasa suasana mcm kat Mekah. teringin sgt! so dsbbkan tak pernah ke Mekah (yet) , masjid UIA Gombak pon jd lah.. huehue. tapi kena prepare betul2 lah. sbb pak imam sana baca satu muka surat satu rakaat. biasanya kat masjid putra nilai kat sini, kalau buat 8 rakaat hbs around 9.30 tp kalau kat sana add up another one hour. kalau 20 rakaat pula, masjid Gombak selalu hbs dlm 12-12.30. fuh! hebat. kesabaran dan kekuatan jemaah pon harus dipupuk jd hebat! doa doa doa! yea! tp ana selalunya buat 8 je, sbb Nabi kita pon buat 8. hihi :)

okay,. sbnrnya ana nak share cerita seorang editor yg dtg bg talk hari tu. nama beliau... heheehe.
ana tiba2 terlupa tp beliau mmg penulis buku juga. ana ada catit nama beliau tp tak bawa buku tu. takpe, yg penting cerita dia sampai

nama beliau start dgn Z yg pati so ana create nama beliau Zabuddin dulu ok. nanti bila dh tau, ana tukar.

ok, so ceritanya, encik Zabuddin ni mmg seorang yg degil lah dulu. rambut beliau mmg panjang. mmg dah ramai lah yg lecturers semua dah tegur beliau. dan sau hari, principal sendiri tegur :

" zabuddin! kenapa rmbut awk pnjg? saya nak awk potong rmbut awk. fhm?! "

zabuddin pon angguk. tp angguk tak bermakna dia akan buat. angguk hanya dr fizikal, dlm hati? hmm zabuddin masih lagi lah berdegil.. suatu hari, Zabuddin masuk dlm class sorang lecturer dia ni. She is a madam. beliau pon duduk dlm class buat kerja yg kena buat semua.. tiba2 dgr suatu suara kat tlinga kanan dia, lembutt je. 

"zabuddin, rmbut awk panjang. saya nak tgok rmbut awk pendek minggu depan.."

uish, terkejut zabuddin masa tu. tiba2 pula kan Madam ni ada kat belakang. zabuddin pon angguk, mcm biasa lah kan

minggu depan pon sampai. rasanya zabuddin potong tak rambut beliau? ye, jawapannya tidak. memang degil bebenor benor lah.. TAPI, sblm masuk class Madam ni tadi, zabuddin pakai songkok, ke topi, ke songkok. ana tak pasti, and beliau pon masuk2 kan lah rmbut beliau dlm songkok/topi tersebut, the long hair does not look prominent anymore.

bila dh masuk class madam ni, madam tu pon okay je, diam je, takde buat apa. zabuddin fikir. nampaknya madam tak perasan. yeaaa, gembira bebenor lah hati zabuddin. dlm keadaan senang beliau tu, beliau pon buat kerja. tiba2, dr telinga kiri, terdengar suatu suara

"zabuddin, im very sad today.. u try to cheat on me..
u cover your hair with yr songkok/cap.
but its okay. u may lie to me..

but you can never lie to Allah"

bergetarr jiwa zabuddin dgr kata2 madam tadi. tahu apa beliau buat balik tu? beliau terus cari dan masuk kedi gunting rambut. dan keluar dari situ, tiada sehelai rambut pon lagi di kepala beliau. ye, botak sudah.


begitulah ye kawan2, cara2 menegur yg berhemah yg mmg terkesan pd hati yg mendengar. tengok lah pd en zahiruddin yg memang tersangat degil tadi, drpd tak nak potong rmbut lgsung, terus botak stlh ditegur madam tersebut. masyaAllah madam, teringin sekali mempunyai personaliti dan skill macam beliau..


*mungkin semua pelik melihat tarikh ini dipostkan, sepatutnya 18 hb kan. sebenarnya masa ana tgh syok menaip dekat library smlm, tiba2 lagu raihan pon berkumandang dlm library tu, pihak library pasang as a "signal" yg diorang nak tutup library dah. walaupun masa tu baru 4.45, masa library sptutnya tutp ialah 5, so ana pon peduli je lagu raihan yg sedap tu dan terus menaip sampai lah abg library tu dtg dan tutup lampu, satu persatu, dari lampu yg plg jauh dgn ana smpai tnggal lampu kat bhgn ana je. abg tu teruskan lg dgn menutup computer satu persatu dr yg plg jauh smpai yg plg dekat dgn ana. maka dgn itu, ana pon fhm lah maksud pergerakan abg tersebut. baiklah, ana pasrah walaupun belum tepat pukul 5 tp masa pekerja2 di sana juga harus difikrkan, ana save dlm draft dan ana sdg menyambungnya

dan.. PEMBETULAN. nama zabuddin bukan lah zabuddin, tapi - ZAHIRUDDIN ZABIDI.

boleh lah kalau nak try google2 beliau :)

sekian,

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Alhamdulillah


atas segala nikmat and rezeki yg Allah kurniakan sejak dua menjak tak sampai tiga menjak ni :)

Pengalaman itu bukanlah apa yg berlaku pd kita tp apa yg kita lakukan pd apa yg berlaku itu. soo, take a lesson from it my dear family and friends! history does not bound to repeat by itself :)










Friday, August 5, 2011

bismillahirrahmanirrahim


assalmualaikum :)

waktu ni, jam 10.38 pagi, ana dekat library IIUM Nilai. for the first time post blog kat sini. eventhough speed dia agak tak speed, tapi berbaloi lah sebab satu sen pon tak payah keluar hehe.

sebenarnya ana nak minta maaf for my last post. bila ana fikir balik, ana rasa ana agak terlalu straight forward and tak planned betul2 dari segi penulisan and penyampaian tu. plus byk lagi fakta and point yg ana nak masukkan. tapi takpelah, things happened. masa tu memang ana type ikut sedap jari je. memang laju lah jari2 ana menari masa tu sebab masa dah singkat, ana nak kena balik Nilai balik. 'balik Nilai balik"? ha. i mean from rumah to nilai again la. but ana nak emphasize kat sini yg ana bukanlah anti perkauman ke apa. oh tidak sama sekali. ana sendiri pon merasai sifat assabiyah ni. ha jgn salah fhm ye. assabiyah bukan bererti assabiyah yg keterlaluan tu. ni assabiyah yg semua org rasa. 'Assabiyah' dlm Kitab Al Ibar karangan Ibn Khaldun ada dua jenis: satu baik satu buruk assabiyah yg ana maksudkan ni yg baik and mmg berlaku in evryone's daily life. for example, lets say you tinggal dlm dorm. in your dorm ada 16 org. and as times flies by mestilah you and all your dormmates know each other and be friends, makan gelak sama2. and one day, ada budak luar kacau one of yr dormmates ke, mesti you pon terasa juga bahang dia kan. rasa nak sound ke belasah apa kan. ceh. jgn buat jgn buat. and tiba2 ada org dr dorm lain main masuk je dorm korang, mesti ada rasa smthng kan, like, hey you, this is our territory. jgn pandai2 eh. haa kan. pdhal sbnrnya dorm tu u punya sekolah or universty yg punya. so lebih kurang mcm tu lah contoh dia. hope you get the point ;)

lepas tu, ana nak bagi tahu satu benda. ana planned dgn sorang shbat kesayangan ana, Siti Naquiah  a.k.a goya (sila kembangkan hidung kalau empunya nama sdg baca :P). kitorang nak create our blog. dekat situ kitorang nak mcm, share lah apa yg kitorang dpt and pgetahuan yg insyaAllah boleh beri kebaikan kpd yg membaca. tapi ana nak tunggu ada sendiri punya lappy first baru buat kot. pasal kalau tak susah ma. takkan nak pergi cc je evrytime. 'kach$ng2' keluar siapa nak masukkan balik? hehe. kena berjimat la. lgpon lptop tu mmg satu keperluan kan. nak buat presenatation assignment semua. so abah.. hehehe

um, last but not least, um, ana kan sebenarnya kalau boleh, insyaAllah tak mo guna nama ana la kan. tp ana tak jumpa lg nama or apa2 lah gelaran yg boleh ganti nama ana. kalau ada yg, dikurniakan Allah dgn akal yg kreatif tu, boleh lahh kalau mcm nak sumbang2 idea kee kan. hehe. ee segan pula cmni. takpelah. segan2.

okay, sekian.

JGN LUPA SOLAT TERAWIH AND BACA AYAT2 ALLAH YE SEMUA. and of course, others ibadah :)
may Allah bless us

assalamualaikum



Sunday, July 31, 2011

perkongsian

assalamualaikum semua! jawab salam jawab.. ana sdg mendoakan korang tu ;)


sooo, seperti yg dijanjikan. ana nak share satu video yang dah membuka mata dan membuatkan ia terbeliak sekejap. dan juga membuka minda dan menambah pengetahuan ana. ana rasa mungkin dh ramai yg tahu pasal video ni, tp bg ana yg agak ketinggalan ni, its better late than never. (ceh, baik punya cover)

nonetheless, selamat mem'beliakkan' mata!



*sedikit bantuan vocabulary bagi ayat2 yg ana rasa tak common dgn perbualan harian*
besieged- mengepung
abolished- dihapuskan
seized- dirampas
perpetrator- pelaku
manoeuvres- chiefly british
cunning- licik
secular - non-religion



boleh ana tau apa perasaan korang semua lepas tengok ni? sebab ana memang sgt terkejut dan tersentak dan marah serta bengang dan sedih! mcm mana sebak nya rasa bila kalifah2 tu dihalau. ya Allah.

bro Firdaus (lecturer utk class Basic Themes of AlQuran a.k.a yg tunjuk video ni kat ana and kawan2) bgtau. ini lah antara cara mcm mana dia nak hapuskan Islam. national border diwujudkan agar perpaduan umat Islam  hancur. semuanya mula memihak dan mengagung2kan 'bangsa' atau 'negara'. contohnya seperti perbalahan antara negara Indonesia and Malaysia. bergaduh tak tentu hala, memenangkan hak negara, sedangkan masing2 orang Islam.

 universiti2 yg melebih2kan bangsa mereka sendiri, tidak kiralah 'melayu' 'cina' 'india' 'sikh' atau apapun, sedangkan apa yg patut diutamakan ialah Islam. WAY OF LIFE kot. nak agungkan bangsa sendiri, apa matlamat? last2 dpt apa? memang benar kita harus tahu asal usul kita, utk kenal identiti kita, namun, lets say, kita belajar demi untuk menaikkan martabat melayu/cina/india, last2, melayu/cina/india tu boleh bagi apa je kat kita? perasaan bangga? utk apa... perasaan bangga yg kau dpt tu, berkekalan kah ia? blh buat kau bahagia kah selama2nya?

cuba kalau kita tukar, belajar demi menaikkan agama Islam. belajar kerana Allah. automatic dpt pahala. pahala yg dpt membantu kita dlm dunia selepas ini yg selama2nya. tak ke rasa berbaloi sikit usaha penat lelah selama ni? bukan sikit tapi segalanya! agama Islam itu bukan hanya utk org melayu, org jawa, tapi.UTK.SEMUA. so, bila kita dah start melabel2 ni maka di situlah bermula nya perpecahan umat Islam. semua start nak melebih2kan dan memperjuangkan bangsa dan negara masing2. sdgkan umat Islam itu seharusnya ada rasa bersaudara dan kasih syg towards each other despite the person's skin colour, his race, languages he practises and so on. macam kaum ansar dan muhajirin.

and lagi satu, kenapalah org selalu tak yakin yg Islam itu lah the REAL way yg boleh bawa to the REAL kemajuan! bukan yg memundurkan. bukan kolot. NOT AT ALL. mereka ni mungkin tak fhm Islam sedalam2nya. Islam itu agama yg syumul. meliputi segala2nya. pengetahuan Allah meliputi segala2nya, even the smallest thing, even sebesar zarah and also, what we do not see. the special field of knowledge yg Allah je tahu such as whats in the womb, bounty, what land are you going to die and the day of judgement. ada ayat dlm AQ tp maaf, ana tak ingat yg mana. nnti ana cari balik dan bgtau ye. maaf sekali lagi. tapi itulah, harap korang dpt point ana.

byk je lagi ana nak bentang ni tp masa mencemburui ana la. ana sebenarnya baru habislast paper smlm pagi. lepas tu terus abah ibu culik bawa balik kg. and pagi tadi baru lah dpt jejakkan kaki ke rumah lepas 4 minggu tak balik tau. huhu. and oh, Alhamdulillah, sebab ana tido kg smlm and ana takde plan nak buat apa kat kg, dpt lah ana hbskan satu buku ni ana pinjam from roommate (Irah), tajuk dia -versus. author - Hlovate. and masyaAllah, ana suka sgt3! ni cover dia



tulisan dia sgt sempoi and relaks utk dibaca. cerita dia comel sgttt and the best thing is motivation words dia sgt dekat dgn kita utk mudah difahamai dan diterima. hehe. bagi sape2 yg mcm tak suka novel sbb selalunya jiwang karat ke apa, try lah baca yg ni. lain tau. tak caya, ce cobe co cobe :B

and back to our main topic, kalau boleh korang search lah pasal Mustafa Kamal. ni ana ada satu link http://ayobhussin.com/siapakah_mustafa_kamal_atarturk.htm.

okay, byk sgt dah ni membebel rasanya. and ana nak minta maaf la kalau penulisan ana ini berterabur. main tulis je. sebab tak sempat dah. nak balik hostel lepas tarawikh ni. ish, rasa nak tulis pasal Ramadhan pula. tamak betul. okay2, selamat berpuasa dan menjalani ibadah ye semua! hopefuuly kita semua dpt rahmat dan maghfirat drpd bulan yg penuh keberkatan ni, bulan di mana para sahabat meraikan kedatangannya dan menagisi pemergiannya, di mana segerombolan malaikat diketuai Jibril turun pd wktu malam hngga subuh, di mana setiap pahala terbentang luas dan pintu2 syurga dibuka & pintu2 neraka ditutup. haa. kan dh pjg, dah mula nak membebel lagi tu. stop farah nabilah stop. 

ok2

fuh. moga dlm jagaan Allah pd sesiapa yg membaca! and, terima kasih :)

assalamualaikum..

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

bila kita mengejar, masa yang berputar


Assalamualaikum semua :) semua yg sudi membaca sebuah blog yg sedang ditimbuni habuk dan debu2, takpe, mari kita tiup ia bersama. dan setelah bersih ia, harapnya dapat kita lihat sesuatu yg dapat memberikan makna.

kali ni rasanya ana nak menulis seolah2 ana berbicara, boleh?

skrg ni ana selalu blaja kat musolla kat blok ana tu, lepas pg seminar kefahaman Islam from kakak2 Gombak dekat situ. masa tu hari ahad pagi. so tghari tu, lepas makan, ana pon terus je mcm, eh, blaja je lah kat sini. dan Alhamdulillah, seronok je blaja kat situ. sunyi, dan menenangkan. sesekali ana ambil wuduk dan mengaji kat situ. dah rasa mcm kat bilik sendiri pula. sbb kat dlm surau mmg ada tandas. dan sebab itu pon mmg musolla utk muslimah shj so cara pemakaian mmg macam dlm dorm lah. sgt selesa. masa bersilih ganti, pd waktu petang dan malam dan wktu2 berikutnya, ana pon mmg akan pg situ lah bila nak study. sebab ada midterm exam isnin selasa rabu. and masa tu baru lah ana tahu sbnrnya ramai je yg study kat situ. suasanya tidak lah setenang hr ahad yg lalu tp takpe, ana still seronok je blaja situ sbb mmg dpt focus, kalau dlm dorm tuu, hm bergelak ketawa je lah ana ni jawabnya.

sehinggalah smpai pd suatu ptg di mana dlm musolla tu ada dlm 4 ke 5 org je lah yg blaja. masa tu, ana tgh buat revision political science ke history, ana tak pasti. dan ada sorang muslimah ni, pakai earphone dan baca buku. ada juga yg sedang baring dan mnghafal. ana pon teruskan bacaan. tiba2 masuk lah dua org muslimah ni. kedengaran bahasa yg mereka gunakan utk berbicara ialah bahasa english, mereka sgt fluent. dr situ ana boleh agak bhsa itu mmg bhsa perbualan harian mereka. penekanan di situ bukanlah penilaian baik buruk bahasa itu namun the 'language view the social reality of its speakers' by Sapir-Whorf hypothesis. ana rasa bimbang mlihat mereka yg hanya mgenakan baju kpd baju kurung. tanpa kain. mereka berjalan, berbual dan bergelak ketawa seolah2 tiada siapa di situ dan terus pg kat kwn dia, muslimah yg memakai earphone td.

mereka berbual. dgn suara yg kuat.

"mungkin nak ckp kejap je kot" bisik si hati

mereka menyambung pula dgn gelak ketawa,

"haih..."

mereka mula melabuhkan badan, melunjurkan kaki dan scra tidak sngja,

"Astaghfirullahalazimm" ana terlihat apa yg tidak patut ana lihat.

marah sgt rasanya. tidak wujudkah rasa malu? ana juga perasan beberapa muslimah yg lain terlihat aurat saudara kami sndiri yg tidak patut kami lihat. ini surau ya anti.

tidakkah anti menggunakan mata yg dikurnia Allah smpai tak perasan ke ada byk manusia lain kat sekeliling anti yg sedang dlm posisi tu? tak terjana kah oleh minda anti tentang apa pndangan org lain tntg anti? tidakkah wujud perasaan hormat pd org sekeliling? kalau tidak pon, hormat lah pd surau ni.

marah marah. buku yg dipegang diletakkan ke lantai. geram. otak tidak dpt lagi fokus pada pembelajaran. suara mereka yg bingit, hilaian yg melalaikan, hilangnya rasa hormat pd org di sekeliling, mereka ke hulu ke hilir, keluar masuk tandas dan surau sbb bilik mereka mmg betul2 blkg surau tu. seolah2 tempat tu mereka yg punya.

"guys, i need to study" kdengaran suara kawan mrk yg blajar sblm mrk dtg tu

"ya, just study. dont need to entertain us here"

"but i need to be alonneee"

"okaayyy, we're not goin to bother you. just study"
"ya, see, you are alone now. dont talk to me" *playing with phone*

but that muslimah yg nak study still tak dpt apa yg dia nak. yelah, lps tu tetiba sorang ni cite benda ni lah pastu gelak lah and so on. smpai 2 kali tau that muslimah yg nak blaja kena mention kat diorng yg dia nak study.

and ana pon mcm, eishhh dia nak study tu so blah laaaa. geramnyaa. ee. sebab masa tu mmg ana dlm proses nak pg tegur ke tak nak sbb mmg ana distracted sgt3. dgn pkaian yg menampakkan aurat diorang kat ana nya. and ana rasa muslimah2 lain yg tgh study kat situ pon mmg bengang la.

tgh diorang gelak2 tu, tiba2 ana pon bangun, and pg kat diorang

"excuse me sisters, can u pls slow down yr voice bcs some ppl are studying here. and btw sister, its kind of unappropriate for you to wear like this in musolla, you know, and it also effect us who saw yr aurat. pls respect the musolla its for everyone's use"

"ah? hello, this is not your musolla"

"ya. and its not yours either"

"go to the library"

"go to hell"


tekejut tak?

okay. that is now what had happened. i just come with the 'go to hell' while writing this just now. sorry. maybe relieve stress dpt habis 3 paper. but i did planned on saying the previous dialogues. i just dont have the guts. but deep in my self, i really really really want to tegur them.

and this time, for real, i stood up, walked with idk, what kind of spirit that got into me and i said

"excuse me sisters, can u pls slow down yr voice a lil bit, bcs, we are stdyng here, so, ya.."
"thank you"

*smile*

and go.

fuuuh!

i remembered their expression

okay, kena tegur. staring at each other anddd yah.

i can hear they are saying something but its very not crystal clear but i can guess that they are not so mad or pissed off lah with my words.

so the two of them stood up then walked into their room.

and did not come back again.

truth be told, among all the stories i wanted to share, i dont know why i come up with this story. i think maybe its my first time to really control my self and tegur those group yang, i am familiar with but not very interested in. im not judging. its just my personal opinion. and Alhamdulillah, with Allah's help, they can accept it well. on top of that, the feeling of others muslimah yg nak blaja kat situ on tht time that makes me more confident and drives me to say it.

but then, yang sedihnya,

semalam malam ana study kat sana, its like the whole group of them tgh study kat sana. most of them were focus on the books. i think the same subject tht im taking for the next day. but i did not understand why that same person wear something unappropriate again. and ya, she is not studying pon. talking to the phone. you know, sometimes i overheard her conv, she was cursing and stuffs, ana jadi geram la, ana geram bila tgok diorang buat musolla tu jdi macam 'tempat' utk diorang nak buat pape je diorang nak. kalau for the purpose of studying and doing good things, act properly, okay. iniiii... haish. ana rasa bersalah bila teringat apa yg kakak from Gombak tu kata masa masuk musolla tu. dia rasa mcm tenang je la musolla tu, suci.

tapi sekarang, ada pencemaran yg sdg berlaku!

and ada one of my friend pon cakap, dulu dia selalu juga dtg that musolla, solat ramai2, now dah tak best dah. tgh dok solat tiba2 dgr suara org mengilai lah apa.

hmmm. sedih lah. ana rasa, ana nak tampal notis

COVER YOUR AURAH BETWEEN MUSLIMAH PROPERLY. PLEASE, RESPECT THE MUSOLLA AND OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIORITY. YOUR COORPERATION IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU :)
ha. kan. mcm tu. kalau tulis bm takut dia pg cari kamus pula ye. hehe.

moga Allah beri saudara2 ku petunjuk..

semua ini hanyalah luahan hati dan perasaan ana, yg rindu sgt pg family yg dah 3 minggu tak jumpa, yg tak sabar nak balik rumah sabtu ni insyaAllah dan buat apa yg ana plan nak buat. byk sgt keinginan! dan byk sgt halangan. harap2 Allah permudahkan urusan ana, dan anda yg membaca. aminn

maaf atas sgla kesalahan ana. segala yg baik itu dtg dr Allah, dan segala yg salah itu dtg dr ana sendiri dan syaitan.

*p/s- ana tak sbar nak post satu video yg membuka mata! nantikan.. (cewah)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

sebenarnya, perasaan yg berkecamuk itulah yg membuatkan kita makin dekat dgn Ilahi. bila kita sudah biasa dgn suasana A, kita berasa janggal dgn suasana B. bila kita sudah biasa dgn suasana B, kita berasa janggal dgn suasana A kembali. mungkin bukan janggal, namun lalai? oleh itu, kita harus pandai memilih suasana mana yang kita mahukan namun dalam masa yang sama, kita harus belajar meyelesakan diri? mcm mana eh nk ckp. mcm mixed up? bukan. tp mengadaptasi kan diri kita di suasana yg bukan menjadi pilihan kita supaya dapat menjaga perasaan insan di sekeliling tanpa mengabaikan pendiriran kita ye. 


dan saya terfikir, mungkin, kerana itulah pentingnya psychology. psychology, suatu subjek di mana saya tersedar sebentar dr lamunan apabila seorang lecturer berkata "as i can see just now, there are a lot of you who wants to do major in psychology. do you know wht psychology is? i know, all of you must think that we can read people's mind right?"


there. when i think again, oh aah lah ya, somehow i do have tht kind of mindset but now, not anymore. only Allah can know his own slave's heart and mind right. so we, as psychology students will not and never know how to read people's mind but what we learn is, understanding mind. 

I.THINK.LAH. 


goodnight. assalamualaikum :)

Friday, June 3, 2011

perasaan ini bercampur aduk

tak tahu nak ckp cmne. ada waktu rasa okay, ada waktu rasa okay tak okay, byk waktu rasa tak okay. nak ckp sebab apa tak tahu. bukan tak tahu tapi mungin sbb byk sgt sebab.


mungkin sebab orientation kat cfs iium ni tak pack lgsung, byk sgt freetime, and tak tahu nak buat apa buat diri rasa bosan
mungkin sebab bila rasa bosan buat diri ingin mencari hiburan bersama rakyat di bilik
mungkin sebab baru proses perkenalan dgn roommate buat diri tidak biasa lagi
mungkin sebab tidak biasa lagi buat diri rasa sunyi
mungkin sebab cara pemikiran dan pemahaman dgn stgh2 kawan yg berbeza buat diri rasa tiada di sini yg memahami
mungkin sebab rasa tidak difahami buat diri ingin mencari
mencari.ketenangan.dari.Ilahi


lalu bacaan Al Quran pon bermula dan tertitislah air mata..

Friday, March 18, 2011

kadang2 rasa mcm blog ni satu tggjwb pon ada. as if you're alive tau

ngeheh

this week is awesome! eh, not awesome. but i like lah! Alhmdulillah sgt2. bcs why? bcs i filled up my times with me doing beneficial stuffs and not just melangok jd pemalas tgok tv berangan goyang kaki.. ? bukan, goyang kaki dan berangan and stuffs yg org2 malas suka buat (which also means yg i slalu buat hehe). i feel soo thankful to Allah as i know tht He has been helping me and help and help and help me a lot lot lot lot lot and so lot along my days in this week, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah (can you see how thankful i am now?)

talking about work..

the first form tht i posted was for mr H who stays in P, his loan can go until 45k.
the second form i posted was for Puan R whose applying loan for 60k.
being full of spirit, i was happily distributing flyers aroung (aroung? masuk tengganu pulok doh) my house area and you can guess what was the respond with ths kind of smiley :D! siap ada tanda seru lagi uh

one of my neighbour called. Farah Nabilah yg cun, Kak N yg comel nak buat fresh loan, boleh pg smpai berapa eh? jeng jeng jengg


128, 900 wo! 
two days passed by, and the loan was submitted! it was the third form i posted to a client but it came as the first submission to be sent. Alhamdulillah, sgt2 bersyukur. the first form posted got problem sikit and the second one, insyaAllah isnin dpt. can you see now how Allah planned? tah i rasa mcm cantik sgt.

ya Allah, aku bersyukur atas segala kenikmatan dan rezeki yg Kau kurniakan padaku, oleh itu, lindungilah aku drpd sifat alpa dan leka dgn semua kesenangan ini supaya aku tidak menjadi seorg yg riak dan sombong, ikhlaskan lah hatiku dlm setiap perkara yg aku lakukan, semoga ianya membawa kebaikan kepada ku dan semua. amiin

and oh, i was at Michael Buble concert last sunday. hehehe, all sponsored by Audi. eh? if im not mistaken lah. Qistina's father got sponsored and there was one ticket left which was supposed to be her aunt's ticket but she cancelled last minute so then i got a call from Qis while i was still dreaming, she was inviting me like

Farah! jom Farah, mlm ni kita pg concert Michael Buble, awk tahu takkk ticket dia 850 tp ni ktorg dpt free! ha jom jom! Michael Buble ni Farahh.
and i was like,

okayy. tp siapa Michael Buble?

 T_T

sorry Encik Aziz, or, any MB's big fan, or small, or medium? salah orang nak ajak kan, i know, but wht to do, i dah pergi dah pon hehe. and now i dah tahu siapa Michael Buble. so, no offense! at least i can say that he is adorable! happy tak i puji penyanyi kesayangan you? hehehehihihihokk

meh i buat you lagi happy meh

hehe padahal


being excited and jakon for out first time goin to a concert

lupa pula ini concert Michael Buble kan

very descent, not that huhahahokhekk monkey2 one
e
Qistina was so very the excited
MB went down from the stage, evryone was tryin to hold his hand
unlucky us, we were sitting on the upper level so dpt jerit je

 come heree! we love you!
nak tengok muka dari jarak dekat je sbnrnya

ni nice kan. ada kertas2 jatuh
and this time, he was singing. WITHOUT MIC
oh. did i tell you that everytime MB sings
ada jiran tempat duduk kitorang, seorg pakcik dlm linkungan 50 tahun gitu, confirm jadi camni

 he memorised every single lyrics in every single songs tht MB sang, dgn feel and gaya sbiji gini. hulomok, part ni Qistina kalah la

so this is the hall
going back with org gila
and goodbye
thanks adorable!
 hehe happy tak? i suka buat org happy ni, tak suka buat org jealous je

:P

chalo bete

Friday, March 11, 2011

deep down inside

i was just about to be happy


until i went somewhere which i thought i'll be happier. guess i was wrong...


Thursday, March 10, 2011

lesson for today: do not ride if your mind wasn't on the road

i do not know who to talk to. im sorry dear bloggie, you have always been the place where i express and let my sadness or anger out. i mean, recently. 
im sorry.


usually i'll get home and start to blurb evrythings out to my sister or any of my family members but today, idk, i just dont feel like it. there is like SO MANY things that i've think about today.
apa ni, balik terus ke situ
see, i've thought so. but i'll remain silent. its true wht they're saying
if you know me well you will be curious about my ke-pelik-an now, because i am thnkng the same too

i langgar a car today

its not lah totally crashed but its the fact that i LANGGAR A CAR OKAY. i seriously dont know wht i was thinking.

i was on my way to wangsa walk (wawa) with my officemates after work and i went there by motorcycle. its my dad's. i've been using it recently to work and places near by. i was on the center between the two lanes. you get wht i mean, the center between the right and left lane? where motorcycles riders menyelit2? and me also lah one of the riders yg suka menyelit tu kan. except if there is a bus or lorry, mmg tak lah, i'll just get back on the right lane, i mean not kanan lane but the correct lane. yes thts the word.

but today got no bus or lorry, ada sikit happy kat situ tp ada byk tak happy lepas tu. the traffic light is yellow. i see that. but my mind cannot see that. my mind was not even seeing the road or any cars in front or behind neither besides. and it was not controlling the hand that was pressing the minyak. my hand which does not has a mind sesukahati press lagi laju sampai lah GEDEBANGGGGG!

astghfirullahalazim

my mind is back on track

yea, perfect timing lah kan.

and only now it controlled the hand who then pressed the brake . the traffic light turned red. i reversed my motorcycle to see wht happened to that green Saga car. first thing i saw is a mad man face

 ehh, jgn lah marah cik jap2

i reversed a lil bit more feeling very cuak kebebeh, check check check, Alhamdulillah, it seems tht the car is doin just fine (jap ayat ni mcm kereta tu hidup pula kan. doin just fine) that man pon came out to see his car's condition and i can sensed tht he is relieved and dah tak mrh sgt to see nothing bad happened.

i was, doing the best pity face ever saying things to apologize and settle the problem nicely
sorry lah encik tadi otak saya, entah lah, melayang. bukan kat jalan, tak perasan bawa laju tak sempat nak ngelak betuul2, minta maaf sgt2. ni nak byr apa2 tak?
something like that. being nice of him, his responds was

ha takpelah klu cmni takde nak byr apa, tulah lain kali nak bawa laju2 kat highway, eh
i saw his wife and a lil kid like 2 tahun duduk atas riba mama dia, i think he understood, plus im a girl kan. Alhmdulillah. thank you mister.

being happy i am, i feel so ashamed deep down inside, peoples around were looking at us, but i just pi lantak depa lah. and now the light turned green. syukur again..

im putting my left foot on the pedal to change the gear. ehh? mana benda ni? i looked down. pedal sekarang dah pergi kebelakang


feeling so shocked, i was about to cry. how stupid. how come drive tp otak melayang tempat lain? nak ckp bangang, ckp tu satu doa, takkan nak doa jd bangang kot. so the eyes cannot hold the tears any longer. it finally falls down

i find a place to stop. i pressed the minyak a lil bit more to go a lil bit faster, vrroom vroom vreek?

oh no. dont tell me the engine goes wrong somewhere. oh my God, ya Allah......
i parked my motorcycle besides a busstop near by. the first person tht crossed my mind is Azam. idk,
at this time and this kind of problems i'll always find him, as he is good about motorcycles and being a very good friend of mine, i know he is willing to hear and help the best tht he can. and yes, he did.

now im going to have to take my motorcycle to bengkel, asked them to fix or wht they call, ketuk the place where i put my feet which i call pedal according to my kamus sesukahati. about the engine maybe bcs of the hentakan just now, im afraid to ask org bengkel to fix it incase if they are lying kan. so i called cik Wan, my bos. why do i called him and not cik Alif who is the other bos and who is also yg menjaga kebajikan pekerja semua, bcs cik Wan nmpk cam ada lah kot kwn yg kerja2 bengkel ni kan so tomorrow he is goin to see first lah. why not on tht time? its 6.10 pm dude, im watching movie at 6.30 pm. so yeah, lets just pray to Allah as He knows best. (yeah yeah konon dalam hati ni ya Allah ya Allahh....)

while heading to wangsa walk i remembered my dialogues with the officemates few minutes before

Ala Farha jom lah teman kita, naik lah dgn kitaa
OK jom
the rest - ehh tak payah, dah lah takde helmet apa, takde2 naik cab dgn ktorg
Alaaa. fine ah. kalau apa2 jadi kat kita nantiii haa  

Astaghfirullahalazim, masinnya mulut.

istighfar banyak2.

now im waiting for abang's Farha help to ask if his friends can help me on this. seriously, im not gonna tell my parents. i am not going to tell them. im gonna settle this my self. 


i do not want my parent to have bad impression to me, or think that i cannot jaga stuffs elok2 as i accidentally without any intention, broke and damaged stuffs many times before. so i dont want lah. i also dont know lah why i always like this. barang kat tangan ada je something wrong. why la whyy? dengan lens rosak nak repair kena byr smpai seghibu hengget. dengan sales tak smpai 50 ribu pon lagi. ya Allah, aku tahu dugaan ni kecil je kalau nak dibandingkan dgn org lain. aku tahu kau sdg mengajar aku ya Allah. oleh itu, bantulah aku supaya aku dapat belajar membetulkan kesalahanku atau apa2 yg patut aku pelajari dari semua yg berlaku ini..


this time, on my way back home, for the first time to ride motorcycle from wawa at night,

rasa mcm nampak.. sesuatu...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

kekonfiusan

went to Carrefour last night with my sister
having my first step in carrefour... (i mean not tht this is my first time to carrefour but my first langkah, pehe? )


ok langkah permata, or, selangkah masuk ke carrefour?

tiba2 dikejutkan dgn satu jeritan yg dahhhsyaaatt


TEACHER FARAAAAHH !!
i saw ALIAH IHSANI okay one of my favourite and -beingmissed- student! in a moment of time i walk laju2 to her and muah muah muah muah kiss on the cheek there you have it, huggie huggie joined in too.

ya Allah, Alhamdulillah, i feel like the world is mine.. ok, hiperbola?

but truth be told, i was so happy to see her. falshback "occured"(?) and pictures of the kids crossed my mind. God, YOU KNOW HOW I MISS EM ALL


then i go salam2 with her mother and her aunt which is one of the teachers for raudhah (nursery besides my place) which is also the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. oh after my mother. and sisters. and Angelina Jolie. and the girl in Bruno Mars's video. and ... i guess i've to list it first

so today, hmm guess im quite sad? idk mcm kena penyakit moodswing yg sewel tu tau tak? tak suka tau.


i hope tht my loan overlapping bussiness goes well, and i hope tht i dont feel awkward or mcm tiba2 moody with anyone either my officemates, bos-es, families, and friends.


pernah tak mcm tiba2 rasa diri sendiri annoying ke lepas tu down lepas tu rasa ok esok nak diam, tak nak ckp dah pdhl org lain ilek je kita yg emo sorang2 tiba2. lepas tu ada rasa, should i be my self or not being my self because i suddenly think im annoying, am i? then am i gonna be someone who im not and end up regretting with the decision? 

ish!

ya Allah, sesungguhnya hanya Kaulah yg boleh membolak-balikkan hatiku maka berikan lah aku ketenangan hati dan jiwa ya Allah.. berikan lah aku keyakinan diri untuk menjadi diriku sendiri kecuali jika ada perbuatan ku yg membuatkan kau tidak redho padaku ya Allah. kau bersihkan lah hati ku dari sifat dengki, tamak, ujub, riak dan kau ikhlaskan lah hatiku dalam melakukan sesuatu perkara dan kau buangkan lah sifat2 mazmumah yg ada dalam diri ini, malah Kau masukkanlah sifat2 mahmudah dalam diri ku dan bantulah aku membina peribadi diri yg mulia, sesungguhnya hanya kepadaMu aku berserah..

Sunday, March 6, 2011

one of my life journey, lets see where will it leads me huh ;)

yah kerja apa skrg?

oh, jd Finance Executive

aicehhh

dah berapa lama kerja?

4 hari.. hehe

   Wah, finance executive. nama jwtn mcm gempak en. haha. peluang nak dpt kan kerja ni pon for me lah utk org yg spm pon tak lepas lagi, rasanya mcm susah je nak dpt. sbb tu lah keputusan nak kerja ni pon smpai berpeluh2, air mata mengalir semua ada sebab bercanggah dgn plan tak mo kerja lagi utk bulan 3 ni, ingtkan bulan 3 nak rehat sat, siapkan lesen, nak masuk kelas tafsir AlQuran, and the most important thing is to spend time with family esp kakyongedik and afiq azfar yg skrg bersekolah di Pahang. Pahang wei, bukannya dekat tu. tapi sbb kerja ni sndiri yg sbtu ahad cuti, public hols cuti, kerja 9-5 je, so rasanya ada lah kan time lebih2 nak buat benda lain juga. solat istikaroh dah, doa pon dah. jd mungkin ini lah kot yg terbaik, insyaAllah..



as for now, im like-ing my job bcs first, i know a lot of new things and ''new things" yg i never expect to know or even kisah about it before, which is, loan, or, overlapping, or bak kata akak the right word is- refinancing ke hapabenda tah who cares? org tahu over lap so be itt. tak perlu pening2 palo dak? and secondly, its quite challenging as i have to find customers and try my best to convinve them on having service from us. which actually, im a lil bit not happy with this lah bcs sometimes boleh je kita nak try persuade dia buat overlap dgn kita, nak convince dia mcm2 so that dia buat loan tu dgn kita tp mslhnya, kesian kot.. kdg2 kita nmpk au stgh2 kes yg kalau dia buat dgn kita mcm lagi tak berbaloi sgt but mostly berbaloi lah cuma dlm jangka masa yg pendek mmg dia rugi lah tp dlm jangka masa yg pjg insyaAllah dia untung besar. tapi tulah, nak tunggu payment siap dlm berapa tahun yg dia pinjam tu misal kata dia amek 20 tahun, takkan 20 tahun kot dia nak merana gaji drpd 1500 tggal 200? anak bini nak makan apa? so kalau kes cmtu che biar lepas je lahh kan? biar Yg Maha Kuasa satisfied, bukan bos, betui dak?



TAPII

masalah dan kegeraman skrg ni ialah bila diri sendiri tak paham lagi kat mana dia potong interest tu? arghh

yea, i like this job but i dont love it. it is good for my knowledge and skills, and make me expose to the world and people's ragam. but for my soul, naah.


lets turn it to be one good working experience, see one part of the world, see it differently, not just the money.




*baru perasan, tak tulis pon pasal kerja masa kat ADNI dulu pdhal the kids are so wonderful. ahh so bad so bad. next time i will. i will! insyaAllah

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

koperasi kowamas here i come. eh bukan dah balik dah pon ke?

oh semalam.. hari yang penuh dengan kerisauan, pilihan yang membelenggu jiwa. namun itulah kehidupan. bak kata abah, 
in order to achieve the goal, you have to forgo something
tiba2, kedengaran lagu berkumandang di radio Sinar FM..

(okay tipu je i tak dgr sinar fm. kecuali masa tumpang abah nak pergi sekolah dulu)
walau kitaaa di hadapkan, dengan plbaagai pilihaaan, mengapaa sering terjadii pilihan taaak menepati! hinggaaaa amat menakutkan. menghadapii masa depan, seolah.telah terhapus, sebuah kehiduupan yang kuduuusssss
tapi bak kata Farah, or actually, apa yg Farah fikir
kita dah doa, dah minta kpd Yang Maha Mengetahui supaya tunjukkan kita jalan yang terbaik.
" Ya Allah, jika pekerjaan ini adalah pilihan yg terbaik utk diriku, maka kau permudahkan lah urusan kerjaku dan bantu lah aku bekerja dgn bersunggguh2. namun jika sebaliknya, maka Kau berikan lah aku petunjuk serta bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang lebih baik utk ku, di dunia & akhirat.. "
oleh itu kawan2, bila kita dah doa, kita berserah pada Allah.

bila kita dah buat keputusan, we HAVE TO move on with it, bukan must, but -have to- buat sehabis baik, dan ikhlaskan dirimu. insyaAllah Allah akan bantu kita, tapi kita pon kena lah minta Allah bantu kita. caranya?

DOA :)

sekian, wasalam

Saturday, February 26, 2011

reliable friends. thank you so much


kau fhm ke perasaan bila kawan dgn org yg betul2 berkawan dgn kita sbb diri kita? org yg dgr masalah kita dgn hati dan akal. org yg terus memberi semangat tika kita dianiaya. 


perasaan itu..

jauh bezanya dgn kawan2 yg asyik mcm
Weh bila nak keluar lepak?
ketara rasanya. mereka bukan kwn utk berhibur shj. mereka kawan yg betul2 kawan. bukan kwn hanya pada kerusi meja mamak atau kedai shisha yg hanya berbicara tentang dunia dan keasyikannya yg sementara dan terus bila kita ada pendirian kita sndiri, tidak cuba memahami malah menyisih. kawan yg berkawan dengan tiada arah tujuan.

fahamkah kau perasaan itu?
bahagia.. kerana kita berkawan kerana Allah.
walau sekejap mana pun tempoh perkenalan itu, namun keakraban serta keketatan (yes ketetataaan T_T) persahabatan itu sgt kuat rasanya, bagai sudah lama berkenalan.


bak kata omputeh matabiru

its not how long we have been friend, but the footprints that you have left in my heart.

KEIKHLASAN. itu yg penting

im having a very nice day today.VE.RY.NICE. thanks for everything Sarah, Farha, Ika and Kim. will never forget those sweet moments. i will be missing working with all of you. semoga persahabtan kita tak smpai di sini shj insyaAllah. uhibbubillah *huggie huggie*

p/s : kalau p.cik Zakaria tahu buka blog Farah, thanks to you tooooo hhe!


Thursday, February 24, 2011

dunia tidak pernah tidak ada masalah

sedihnya. satu persoalan disini : susah sgt kah utk menegur org dgn cara yg elok? ikhlas kah teguran mu itu?


ahh ini baru sikit, byk lagi ragam org yg belum kau jumpa Farah. bersabar lah..


maka,
rasakanlah sesaat..

nikmatilah, mungkin setelahnya kau akan mengerti..

...bhw kesedihan itu bagai bidadari cantik yg mengajarkan keindahan,

bhw kesedihan itu bagai pahlawan yg memberi seribu kekuatan
YEAH! 



"satu hari nanti, kau akan bersyukur atas apa yang terjadi hari ini" 

-ashfa ansary- ^^
 mengejaryanghakiki.blogspot.com (a.k.a. kakyong :)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

i LOVE my babies

...


adakah ini normal?
setiap kali mahu mula menulis, idea yg berlumba2 dtg sblm ini, kini berlumba2 utk lesap dari kotak pemikiran. ahhh. GERAM

oh sudah hampir sebulan. sudah berhabuk rupanya. kini ku telah kemaskini kan. walau tidak seberapa, terima lah hakikat yg diri ini mmg malas utk memberapa-rapa kan ia lagi. cukuplah sekadar simple namun masih sedap utk mata memandang. 

sedap ke? 


ahhh, apa ku kesah. 

diri kau

hati ini sgt sgt berat utk meninggalkan anak2 murid kesayangan itu, walau hanya dua bulan, tapi perasaan bahagia bersama kanak2 itu sgt dirasai. bukan berniat jadi poyo walau dlm kamus dewan bahasa poyo bermaksud cantik, poyo yg dinyatakn di sini adlh poyo dari kamus fahaman orang ramai. diri ini mmg sifat semulajadinya suka pada budak2. even SOMEtimes, kids could be annoying, trust me, diorang juga lah yg akan buat kau rasa happy. 

SEE ~





tak rasa mcm atototooo comeynyeee, rasa happy kan tgok budak2. 


hah, penenang jiwa :)


namun di sudut hati yg sebelah lagi, terpalit rasa tak sabar dan lega utk berhenti bekerja. semua kerana- engkau. ye engkau miss rengis. kenapa laku mu sgt begitu dgn ku? dan hanya dgn aku? bengis. jika kau benci pada ku tahu kah kau betapa banyak aku mahu benci pada kau? byk. bykgilader. tp tahu kah kau bhw kita ni org Islam yg sepatutnya menyayangi sesama kita bukan benci, jd aku cuba sedaya upaya utk buaang jauh2 perasaan yg diselubungi bisikan syaitan itu. tidakkah kau penat memusuhiku dalam diam? sdgkan kita berada dlm satu kelas yg sama miss rengis. tolong lah, aku penat begini. aku ambil nasihat dr kwn yg ku syg, dr keluarga yg ku cinta. 


aku seorang yg akan melawan jika hati ku sudah terbakar kegeraman, (ceh kegeraman)
aku seorang yg suka nak menang dlm bab2 yg aku rasa aku betul

namun, demi Islam, demi ketenangan jiwa, demi kepayahan otak memikirkan permasalahan ini, aku ambil keputusan utk biarkan shj diri mu begitu,

DAN


dengan sgt susah payahnya, aku mencampak jauh ego serta keras kepala ku semata2 utk berckp dgn kau. dgn kau pula tu


grrr. aku rasa seperti telah tewas. aku mengaku, aku sedih dan aku gerammm. geram yg amat. 

namun Allah itu Maha Mengetahui, Allah itu Maha Adil, sentiasa bersamaku :) terus aku tenang. aku ambil yg positif


biarlah kekalahanku di sini, namun kemenanganku di sisi Allah. insyaAllah. amiin