learn to let go farah, or you will never see the fate flow. seriously!





fine

when inferiority embraces the soul

1)  kenapa eh? kadang2 rasa jealous dgn org yg hebat2, or should i say, terlalu 'suci', dan maju?

rasa tak boleh pon nak baca apa dorang post though benda2 tu benda baik.

rasa mcm, i just couldn't be that good. 

rasa mcm, come on man, i'm stuck in here. with all these tests, i just don't know if i can ever reach to that level. though how many times i've worked for it. i keep on doing mistakes. am i not smart enough to make decision in life? or am i that weak?

inferiority embraces my soul. 

i know, different people different stories. tapi....

*jeeeeeeng* the other side of Farah Nabilah muncul 

2)   Farah Nabilah Abdul Rahman, dgr sini syg.

Allah swt, has different plans for different people. and each of His plans, is perfect for all people.

Different people have different stories as they have different upbringings, different surroundings, different kind of "tarbiyyahs", different kind of families, different kind of friends, and just different colours of LIFE!

and so thus, how Allah swt judge them. based on what they have been through. based on the choices they make on what they are left with. based on their efforts in their own situation. based on their very own levels. based on their very own colours of life.

you cannot compare yellow with purple. of course they are different!
even in the colour of yellow itself, has different tones.
ada yang terang sikit, ada yang gelap sikit, ada yg mcm oren sikit, ada yang, macam2 ada lah!

do everything sincerely because of Allah swt, with your best, in your very own colour of life.


don't compete with others, but compete with yourself.
that's how you'll genuinely win. 
by comparing you, with none other than yourself.
and you'll win, over yourself.
in your very own quest to gain His pleasure :) 

and one thing to be told frh, achievement is actually a process. it's not like, you've reached to that level, and you've succeeded. no, it's a process, and it will never stop, until the end of your breath.

3)  a friend once gave me an analogy.

it's like, there are 2 people. having the same destination.

one is running, and running hastily to the destination. unfortunately, bcs of the hastiness, he keeps on falling. and he keeps on feeling tired. to an extend he might just lose himself, or lose hope. bcs he does things out of his ability. what more sad is that he didn't get to appreciate the beauty of the surroundings along the journey.

another person, going to the same destination, he walks steadily towards it. this person, walking his best in his own ability, has less tendency to lose himself or hope because even if he falls, the impact is not as that punishing, and what more blessed is that he is able to appreciate the beauty of surroundings along the journey. 

4)  so yes, i know its good to compare ourselves with others in the sense so that we can reflect back and ponder, but know yourself, your own ability, your own strength and weaknesses, your own history and know your own colour. do your very best, in your very own colour of life.

5)   CONCLUSION :
DO NOT COMPETE WITH OTHERS. BUT COMPETE WITH YOURSELF. 

      AND REMEMBER, EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO DO, IS NOT YOU.

     IT'S ALLAH'S HELPS AND MERCY BESTOWED UPON YOU.

OKAY?

:)

  p/s: not to mention, with all the differences, different people have different tests :)

in a second thought, differences are beautiful actually. as that is what makes us support each other. maybe i wont be able to reach that high in that colour, but biiznillah, i know i can reach to the best level in this colour, and i'll pray that Allah will make it easy for me to help others who are in the similar colour of life as mine, be it similar completely or partially, or even patches-ly? ahaks. so now everyone has their own scopes in their own colours of this whole life. 

and there you go, the rahmatan lil-alaminn, with their Lord's Wisdom and Greatness, are now spreading around. 

Mr. Imann.

Whenever we feel like our imann is almost drowning: As if,

• We keep on swimming, but we just don’t arrive at the bay. When we feel tired, we blow the whistle.

• We keep on blowing the whistle but none is still able to help, or even hear our call for help.

That’s just how our imann feel. And when we feel this way:

My advice is, keep on swimming. And keep on blowing the whistle.

Beyond that, keep.on.believing.

• By keep on swimming, I mean: keep on struggling and continue, doing good deeds though deep down in our heart, despite all the good things we have done, we don’t know when will our imann feel what it used to feel before, when will our imann get the boost as how it used to have before. When, can actually, that transparent void in our heart can really be filled. Or I should say, arrive at the bay. We could hardly see. So do what we can do: swim some more.

• By keep on blowing the whistle, I mean: keep on reaching out for help. We may, listen to the lecture of our favorite educator, read books or articles that are related, find the surrounding that would help, if we need to migrate for a while, then just give it a go. This is a serious matter man. Bak kata org, soal hidup mati. Hidup mati apa? Hidup mati hati. We are with the mission to save our imaan, to save our heart. So just keep on blowing the whistle, we would never know if the 101 times is the number of blowing it takes before help comes. in any form it comes.

And way beyond, keep on believing.

• By keep on believing, I mean: before we can actually continue to struggle with the swimming, to struggle with the blowing, we must first have faith to Him who is The Only One who can give us the strength and hope in our toil of swimming and blowing the whistle.

• By having faith, I mean: that strong conviction and constantly making duaa. Because.He.listens. And indeed, He loves to listen to His slaves, asking help from Him as His Absolute Mercy is just beyond, everything. He WILL help. Just, as long as we believe. Didn't "Allah says, I am as My slave thinks of Me" (saheeh bukhari)

He also mentioned that

“And when My servants ask you about Me, I Am near; I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me. So let them answer Me, and have faith in Me, that they may be rightly guided.” (2:186)

_______________________________________________________________

My dear friends, He is indeed near, AND *remark this people* RESPONSIVE (!) 

Patient is all we need.

Because the greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.

Though how bad the falling condition is.
Though how exhausting it feels to fall, and keep on falling.
Though how long it takes to rise up again.

Just.never. give.up.

His Mercy is beyond our toil, our worries, our everything.


so yes: Believe with a strong believe

           Make duaa

           Swim, and swim some more

           Need help? Blow the whistle. 

*O Allah, when I or the one who is reading this, lose hope, please make us remember that...

 Your Love is absolutely greater than our disappointment*

don't think that others are more blessed than us. indeed everyone is blessed, only in different ways :)

Alhamdulillah, yesterday went very well.

from Being Me conference to a wedding reception of a friend.

and the only friend of mine who has get married at this age, alhamdulillah. barakallahulakum!

somehow i feel like there are so much of insights and learning in every seconds Allah granted me with yesterday subhanaAllah.

i feel like Allah is answering me and keep on answering for doubts and worries i have even to the trivials one. though i feel like my life is sorts of 'stagnant' these days as i know how active and -not-a-girl-who-can-sit-still-doing-dothing- i was before (and will always be insyaAllah), i actually feel there are lots i've learned through all this. yes, all.

those things i really learn are hard to share hahaha.

but just so you know, a friend of mine said regarding among one of the hard decisions he made in life. when he make that decision, its a decision where your brain says no, but your heart says yes. like eating Maggi, you know that its not a good consumption but you still insists of eating it. so he follows what he thinks is right (he left the maggi of course) and its a phase where, its no longer about making a right decision but making a decision right.

masyaAllah its a great advice. but there are also phase in life where, your brain says no, your heart says yes, and sometimes they switch, and you just don't know anymore, and you speak to Allah, you keep on speaking to Him, for only He knows whats your worries, your thoughts, your struggles, your doubts, your need, your everything, only He knows, and when you supplicate to Allah, listen. focus and listen to His answer or answerS.

some people, its very easy for them and i do envy that masyaAllah, pray that i could be among them insyaAllah. but some, it gonna requires some times, thoughts, words, advises, and all kind of insights. you have things that you are worrying especially when it comes about your imaan. whatever people advises you, listen, take whats good but don't focus too much on how they will perceive you because you yourself know whats you are in, how you are feeling, and you are struggling to do the best that you can.

so you see, don't be sad. it might be hard, but take the positive sides of it. before you get that confident, keep on supplicating, as He will keep on answering you, and there will be so much for you to learn there, insyaAllah.

and one more, DON'T THINK THAT OTHERS ARE MORE BLESSED THAN US. INDEED EVERYONE IS BLESSED, ONLY IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

happy learning! :)

.

sorry tumpang 'hujan' jap


hidup itu ujian. 

pernah tak rasa, RASA seperti tersepit dalam keadaan.

nak keluar kot ni, tersepit belah tu

nak keluar kot tu, tersepit belah ni

kering dah air dititis

kering dah otak dikerah

akhirnya, berserah.

haih, lemah kan?

rasa salah konsep pon ada. patut dah memang berserah dari awal.

haih, terserah?

haih.

Ya Sami' Ya Basir Ya A'lim, beri petunjuk, kekuatan dan ketenangan!

aminn

"i wish to have a daughter like you"

today is the last class for subject Islam and Psychology for this sem. sem 2, 2012/2013.

and this is Dr Nadjet Aknouche, our beloved enthusiastic supportive lecturer.

i have always love the class and participate as the discussion is very interesting (Islam AND psychology) and Dr. Nadjet keeps on encouraging us to give out our opinions, together helping each other in solving the problems we have with psychology according to Islamic perspectives. its quite philosophical actually, but, i just love it. we talk about soul, freewill and stuffs. reading articles of these philosophical thingy were an eye-opener. masyaAllah, how Allah has grant those who have the ability to explain all those complicated theories and philosophies in a very beautiful structure and flow that a layman like me can understand em.

we just know that we are going to miss that class, very much.

as we were hugging, thanking each other today, she suddenly whispered to me..

"i wish to have a daughter like you"

Allahuakbar..

*kaku*

i am far far far far VERY FAR, daripada layak.

BUT YET,

This meaningful sentence has strike me right in the deep spot of my heart and i just cannot describe the impact this sentence has made on my heart, my self-worth and my whole self. MasyaAllah, how can i not be grateful when Allah swt has continuously shows me that His Mercy and Love is beyond everything. Beyond the sins we've made, beyond the mistakes we've committed, beyond the tears we've rolled out. i mean, come on, we all know our flaws, we know the wrong things we've done before, and i don't know about others, but i do understand the feeling when you just lost yourselves, feel all hopeless, worthless, that no tears or regret may allow you to reverse the time for you to fix everything all over again.

you feel no difference than:

 mayat.hidup.

to rise, fix and mend a broken shattered life, value and heart was never easy. yet, it is never impossible. and indeed, it is always, possible. ALWAYS.

didn't Allah says "...God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves..." (13:11) and to motivate you oh sinners, Allah hears you, Allah understands you, Allah is always there for you, Allah tells u, "...O My servants who have transgressed against themselves: do not despair of God’s mercy, for God forgives all sins. He is indeed the Forgiver, the Clement.” (39:53)

read inspirational stories from companions like Umar r.a. maybe, who before embracing Islam, has become the very 'tool' of the death of his own daughter. read on how he survived the feeling of guilt that almost haunt him until Allah saves him.

"Except for those who repent, and believe, and do good deeds. These—God will replace their bad deeds with good deeds. God is ever Forgiving and Merciful. Whoever repents and acts righteously—has inclined towards God with repentance." (25: 70-71)

believe me my dear friends, from every wound there's a scar, tells a story, a story that says, i survived. and that will NEVER happened without the Mercy of the Lord. so say Alhamdulillah, and never give up. keep on struggling and fighting. no one can tell u the sweetness of the struggle unless you taste it by yourself. please, choose to make the rest of your life, the best of you life, lillahita'ala.

and, this is for you, abah and ibu :')

p/s- what i am sharing does not indicates that i have achieved my self-actualize and have win this struggle or have achieve success but i'm sharing because i'm just astonished with Allah swt's Mercy and Wisdoms and i am merely sharing not for others to make my story as an example, but im sharing with the hope that the one who reads this or may have feel all these know that someone is surviving, and to enlighten that you can only achieve your self-actualization, your supreme peace and tranquility when you live this life for the sake of Allah swt. :)

“...My prayer and my worship, and my life and my death, are devoted to God, the Lord of the Worlds." (Q. 6:162)

the selfless relationship

meh nak share sikit ttg sesuatu dgn saudaraku sekalian, walaupun tak kena dgn musim pilihanraya ni.

this is for the unmarried couple i guess

i know, just who am i to rlly understand whtever u guys have been through and stuffs, but still, i wanna share bcs i just believe that there might be ppl out there who would understand or need some words. lets just do the best and let God do the rest.

dalam perhubungan ni, bila matlamat you Allah, you will come to a point where, you dah tak kisah kalau in the end, you tak bersama pon dgn dia. bcs he/she is not ur matlamat. a marriage life, or a rltionship should be a tool to achieve your ultimate goal, His mardhatillah. and how selfless and beautiful that relationship is, you biiznillah akan redho dgn semua yg berlaku. bcs akan ada dalam benak fikiran yang, kalau dgn kebersamaan itu, tidak menjadikan mana2 dari kamu berdua seorang hamba yg lebih soleh/solehah, dan khalifah yg makin berkualiti serta berakhlak mulia, hati you lebih mudah menerima, dan redho lebih mudah digapai. biarlah dia dgn org lain, atau you dgn org lain, selagi mana matlamat itu tercapai. and you ada satu senjata (doa), yg akan buat you rasa yakin. and you ada Tuhan, yang akan buat you rasa tenang. so yes, keep calm, and have faith.

now let me share again, this beautiful poem written by a friend.

Allah is the reason why, 

even in pain, i smile. 

in confusion, i understand.

in betrayal, i trust.

and in fear, i continue to fight.

fighting :)