Allah itu Maha Penyayang. sungguh

i just realize that whenever we want to do anything, say bismillah. as whatever we do in this world is nothing but to get the redho from Allah and we do it bcs of Him and with His permission. so yea, 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

i'll make it a practise, insyaAllah :)

so, i would actually like to share a story. happened to me last few days. which i think might be good and have some virtue that we can get from

last Thursday, i had my Sociology and Anthropology marathon quiz. the lecturer did explain the instruction about it but i can't hear her very well. well i was not really focusing actually. yea thats what will happen when you study last minute and still trying to memorize even it's already time to start the quiz. ngeh. and so what i understood was that we will be having 2 hours quiz on that day, and for the last 15-minutes, we can refer to the book. memang best gilak lah kan. and  for next week, we will have another one hour quiz. so i proceed with answering. few minutes later, i heard lecturer answering one student's question. she said 'yes, write your final answer in pen'. thus i followed that instruction. answering almost 15 x 5 plus 5 x 5 which isss

where is the phone. searching for calculator...

oh ya, 100 questions! and there are about 35 questions that i circled cause im thinking of checking them in the book for the last 15 minutes. thanks to Allah, i got some misunderstanding in one question and i recheck about the last 15 minutes open book to the lecturer, asking her is it true. 

'oh no Farah, that is for another one hour, next week'

my god! ye ke? so i rushed answering the 'in about 35 ques' left. and yemmy there were a buuundleee of questions which i actually acknowledge but i forgot the term and some of the ques confused me. i can totally find the answer in a spur of time if i can open the book cause i really know them! i just forgot the term. argh. and there you go, i finished answering almost all of them, using pen. i was quite anxious when some of the students asking lecturer if they can go back early and postpone the duration for the next quiz. really anxious actually, but i just put it aside, does not really matter in this critical minutes

me, Syahiirah and Halim were the last persons to leave the class. Syahiirah checked in the book whether her answer is right or wrong and asked me what did i answer for this que this que. suddenly, a voice being heard

'wey yang korang nak risau2 ni asal, next week kan ada lagi one hour'

and my inner self feedback sounds like 

'la, next week kan quiz lain pula. oh maybe she means nxt week buat betul2 la so blh cover yg ni. ok i get it'

hence, walking happily with Amrah, did our consultation for speaking test with English lecturer, done our prayer and finally bought foods for dinner.

wow, nasi lemak pandan. green in colour. sniff sniff. smells goooood

'jom Amrah, beli nasi hijau ni'

'jommm'

'eh Nini, beli ni juga' my question to one of my classmate while dipping the rice and choosing side dishes.

'yup. eh td lambatnya korang keluar. kau jawab semua eh?'

'aah. asal? boleh ke -tak jawab- semua?'

'laa next week kan jwb booklet yg sama'

'haaaa?!!!!' 

'la, kau tak tahu ke. kita sebenarnya ada 3 jam. tadi 2 jam je. so, next week sambung lagi satu jam. and last 15 minutes boleh refer buku. kau jawab guna pen ke tadi? semua?'

'ha laah. maknanya boleh tukar lah next week jwpn2 aku tu?'

'haa tak boleh lah. sebab madam akan tanda hari ni. kiranya kalau kau dah guna pen, itu final answer kau, and madam akan tanda semua tu, kau tak boleh tukar dah. unless kau guna pensel or tinggal tempat kosong, itu consider kau x jawab lagi la'

my heart beat faster. i felt like being punched in the gut. i felt so low, i felt so frustrated i felt so dumb so idiot so bangang so and so on lah. ya Allah.. with watery eyes, i just end the conversation there. i turned to Amrah. we both have paid for the nasi hijau, i walked away from the kiosk, directing back to mahallah from this boys mahallah. my face was closed with books that im holding. i cant stand this any longer

tears rolled down on my cheek

dropped, and keep on droping..

i cant stop this im sorry! Amrah was all shocked, asking me what happened and tried to coax me.

im sorry i could not handle these tears. there is no hope left. everyone is going to get full marks and im not one of them while actually i can be one of them. if only i hear the instructions well, if only! if only i asked madam the instruction again, if only! this is like a free-marks and i did not get it because of my foolish-carelessness! and its Soca. subject that i aimed to score for next quizzes or exam. subject where many unfavorable things happened to my results. 

flashback.

on the first quiz, i aimed to get 8 out of 10 because there was only 1 question that i did not know. but i got 6 over 10. the first question wants me to define sociology TECHNICALLY but i defined it LITERALLY. bcs i did not know the differences before! while i actually have memorized both of them. ah.

for exam, Alhamdulillah the result was okay but it was the lowest mark among any other subjects that i have answered.

for the group assignment, one of our group members did not accomplish to complete her part so we were given sanction for one day late submission. Alhamdulillah, from 2 marks that were going to be deducted, lecturer changed her mind being kind-hearted reducing it to only 1. and Alhamdulillah, the mark is okay but still, there were always something happened that make the marks falled dowwnnn.

and now, this.

this is totally my fault. there is no other solution for this. thats it Farah. nothing can be done to fix this. its.hopeless.

i called Ibu. i cried on the phone. Ibu is the one who i will turned to when im down. it has always been her. eeeverytime. after Allah of course. but that day, it just didn't work. i still felt the same way

Amrah has gone to the dorm. i asked her to. i need time to be alone. i searched for place to cry. 

its almost Maghrib. usually benches are empty on this time. but that day, it were fulled with people. so i went back to dorm. i still want a place to cry! and this is so not the place. malu lah org nmpak. hence, i went to musolla (surau) eventhough it is farrr away from my dorm. 

i entered the musolla. i walked to the front side. i sat down. i, you know what happened next. yes, crying

suddenly, i heard a voice coming from my back

'awak' 

i turned around, i saw Ain. a girl which i barely know, i always saw her at the musolla when i went there studying and yea i did talked to her before and thats it.

'awak ok?' she came closer

'awk, kenapa ni..'

'tak, tadi ..........' the story begins

at first she did not really understand my story so she said 'nevermind, bring liquid next week then padam lah jwpn tu'

'tak boleh, sebab Madam akan tanda yg kita dah jwb dgn pen. so kt boleh jwb yg kosong je. and kt dh jwb almost semua dgn pen. and byk hentam'

'ohh. hmm awk mcm ni. awk call je madam. awk cerita je masalah awk kat madam. lps tu awk merayu2 je lah kat madam minta tlg pape. awk buat dulu. awk jgn putus asa. try dulu'

she urged me to tell Madam though i still feel its useless. bcs my lecturer is quite strict and what i ever think of her answer was 'oh tak boleh nak buat apa lah Farah.. dh jadi camtu kan'

 but i just nodded my head to her

adhan Maghrib echo

she then perform her prayer. i took the abulation and i waited for her to finish. she came to me afterwards

'awk, nak pinjam telekung boleh?'

'sure' 'oh awk, lagi satu, Allah, takkan bagi ujian kat hamba Dia..'

'di luar kemampuannya' i said to my heart what i thought that she was going to say. i am very familiar with the word already

but i was wrong.

'Allah, takkan bagi ujian kat hamba Dia, tanpa sebab' 'semua ni mesti ada sebab. dan sebab tu mesti ada kebaikan dia tau'

i just smile as a symbol of appreciation as thats the only thing that im capable to do now. m heart still, idk, i just dont know how bad i felt that time. its all mixed up. im so weak, ujian mcm ni pon tak boleh nak bear ke Farah. be strong be strong. 

i then, started my prayer. suddenly, someone laid her prayer mat besides mine. and i was about to ruku' and she followed me. means she wanted to do congregational prayer with me! in this condition? seriously? i just, ok, redho Farah. Allah bantu, teruskan. so with 'that' condition, i become the imam. Alhamdulillah, i finished the prayer, do short 'taaruf' with her. when she left, i said my prayer to Allah. to my only Lord. i know He was listening.

i stood up, opened the telekung, walked to Ain.

'nah,saya nak awk dgr lagu ni' she gave me the earphone. 

pls, listen to this song dear readers :)

this is when everything changed. i cried again. more tears rolled down, but this time, i was smiling :)

...to be continue

18 hari berlalu, 12 hari mendatang

kalau aku sempat..

bismillahirrahmanirrohim

Assalamualaikum :)

ana di library lagi utk post ini. ana rindu sgt dekat rumah, tapi ana tak dpt balik minggu ni sebab ana join iftar di masjid UIA Gombak. diorang ckp masjid diorg cantik, lepas tu imam dia pak Arab so rasa suasana mcm kat Mekah. teringin sgt! so dsbbkan tak pernah ke Mekah (yet) , masjid UIA Gombak pon jd lah.. huehue. tapi kena prepare betul2 lah. sbb pak imam sana baca satu muka surat satu rakaat. biasanya kat masjid putra nilai kat sini, kalau buat 8 rakaat hbs around 9.30 tp kalau kat sana add up another one hour. kalau 20 rakaat pula, masjid Gombak selalu hbs dlm 12-12.30. fuh! hebat. kesabaran dan kekuatan jemaah pon harus dipupuk jd hebat! doa doa doa! yea! tp ana selalunya buat 8 je, sbb Nabi kita pon buat 8. hihi :)

okay,. sbnrnya ana nak share cerita seorang editor yg dtg bg talk hari tu. nama beliau... heheehe.
ana tiba2 terlupa tp beliau mmg penulis buku juga. ana ada catit nama beliau tp tak bawa buku tu. takpe, yg penting cerita dia sampai

nama beliau start dgn Z yg pati so ana create nama beliau Zabuddin dulu ok. nanti bila dh tau, ana tukar.

ok, so ceritanya, encik Zabuddin ni mmg seorang yg degil lah dulu. rambut beliau mmg panjang. mmg dah ramai lah yg lecturers semua dah tegur beliau. dan sau hari, principal sendiri tegur :

" zabuddin! kenapa rmbut awk pnjg? saya nak awk potong rmbut awk. fhm?! "

zabuddin pon angguk. tp angguk tak bermakna dia akan buat. angguk hanya dr fizikal, dlm hati? hmm zabuddin masih lagi lah berdegil.. suatu hari, Zabuddin masuk dlm class sorang lecturer dia ni. She is a madam. beliau pon duduk dlm class buat kerja yg kena buat semua.. tiba2 dgr suatu suara kat tlinga kanan dia, lembutt je. 

"zabuddin, rmbut awk panjang. saya nak tgok rmbut awk pendek minggu depan.."

uish, terkejut zabuddin masa tu. tiba2 pula kan Madam ni ada kat belakang. zabuddin pon angguk, mcm biasa lah kan

minggu depan pon sampai. rasanya zabuddin potong tak rambut beliau? ye, jawapannya tidak. memang degil bebenor benor lah.. TAPI, sblm masuk class Madam ni tadi, zabuddin pakai songkok, ke topi, ke songkok. ana tak pasti, and beliau pon masuk2 kan lah rmbut beliau dlm songkok/topi tersebut, the long hair does not look prominent anymore.

bila dh masuk class madam ni, madam tu pon okay je, diam je, takde buat apa. zabuddin fikir. nampaknya madam tak perasan. yeaaa, gembira bebenor lah hati zabuddin. dlm keadaan senang beliau tu, beliau pon buat kerja. tiba2, dr telinga kiri, terdengar suatu suara

"zabuddin, im very sad today.. u try to cheat on me..
u cover your hair with yr songkok/cap.
but its okay. u may lie to me..

but you can never lie to Allah"

bergetarr jiwa zabuddin dgr kata2 madam tadi. tahu apa beliau buat balik tu? beliau terus cari dan masuk kedi gunting rambut. dan keluar dari situ, tiada sehelai rambut pon lagi di kepala beliau. ye, botak sudah.


begitulah ye kawan2, cara2 menegur yg berhemah yg mmg terkesan pd hati yg mendengar. tengok lah pd en zahiruddin yg memang tersangat degil tadi, drpd tak nak potong rmbut lgsung, terus botak stlh ditegur madam tersebut. masyaAllah madam, teringin sekali mempunyai personaliti dan skill macam beliau..


*mungkin semua pelik melihat tarikh ini dipostkan, sepatutnya 18 hb kan. sebenarnya masa ana tgh syok menaip dekat library smlm, tiba2 lagu raihan pon berkumandang dlm library tu, pihak library pasang as a "signal" yg diorang nak tutup library dah. walaupun masa tu baru 4.45, masa library sptutnya tutp ialah 5, so ana pon peduli je lagu raihan yg sedap tu dan terus menaip sampai lah abg library tu dtg dan tutup lampu, satu persatu, dari lampu yg plg jauh dgn ana smpai tnggal lampu kat bhgn ana je. abg tu teruskan lg dgn menutup computer satu persatu dr yg plg jauh smpai yg plg dekat dgn ana. maka dgn itu, ana pon fhm lah maksud pergerakan abg tersebut. baiklah, ana pasrah walaupun belum tepat pukul 5 tp masa pekerja2 di sana juga harus difikrkan, ana save dlm draft dan ana sdg menyambungnya

dan.. PEMBETULAN. nama zabuddin bukan lah zabuddin, tapi - ZAHIRUDDIN ZABIDI.

boleh lah kalau nak try google2 beliau :)

sekian,

Alhamdulillah

atas segala nikmat and rezeki yg Allah kurniakan sejak dua menjak tak sampai tiga menjak ni :)

Pengalaman itu bukanlah apa yg berlaku pd kita tp apa yg kita lakukan pd apa yg berlaku itu. soo, take a lesson from it my dear family and friends! history does not bound to repeat by itself :)

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

assalmualaikum :)

waktu ni, jam 10.38 pagi, ana dekat library IIUM Nilai. for the first time post blog kat sini. eventhough speed dia agak tak speed, tapi berbaloi lah sebab satu sen pon tak payah keluar hehe.

sebenarnya ana nak minta maaf for my last post. bila ana fikir balik, ana rasa ana agak terlalu straight forward and tak planned betul2 dari segi penulisan and penyampaian tu. plus byk lagi fakta and point yg ana nak masukkan. tapi takpelah, things happened. masa tu memang ana type ikut sedap jari je. memang laju lah jari2 ana menari masa tu sebab masa dah singkat, ana nak kena balik Nilai balik. 'balik Nilai balik"? ha. i mean from rumah to nilai again la. but ana nak emphasize kat sini yg ana bukanlah anti perkauman ke apa. oh tidak sama sekali. ana sendiri pon merasai sifat assabiyah ni. ha jgn salah fhm ye. assabiyah bukan bererti assabiyah yg keterlaluan tu. ni assabiyah yg semua org rasa. 'Assabiyah' dlm Kitab Al Ibar karangan Ibn Khaldun ada dua jenis: satu baik satu buruk assabiyah yg ana maksudkan ni yg baik and mmg berlaku in evryone's daily life. for example, lets say you tinggal dlm dorm. in your dorm ada 16 org. and as times flies by mestilah you and all your dormmates know each other and be friends, makan gelak sama2. and one day, ada budak luar kacau one of yr dormmates ke, mesti you pon terasa juga bahang dia kan. rasa nak sound ke belasah apa kan. ceh. jgn buat jgn buat. and tiba2 ada org dr dorm lain main masuk je dorm korang, mesti ada rasa smthng kan, like, hey you, this is our territory. jgn pandai2 eh. haa kan. pdhal sbnrnya dorm tu u punya sekolah or universty yg punya. so lebih kurang mcm tu lah contoh dia. hope you get the point ;)

lepas tu, ana nak bagi tahu satu benda. ana planned dgn sorang shbat kesayangan ana, Siti Naquiah  a.k.a goya (sila kembangkan hidung kalau empunya nama sdg baca :P). kitorang nak create our blog. dekat situ kitorang nak mcm, share lah apa yg kitorang dpt and pgetahuan yg insyaAllah boleh beri kebaikan kpd yg membaca. tapi ana nak tunggu ada sendiri punya lappy first baru buat kot. pasal kalau tak susah ma. takkan nak pergi cc je evrytime. 'kach$ng2' keluar siapa nak masukkan balik? hehe. kena berjimat la. lgpon lptop tu mmg satu keperluan kan. nak buat presenatation assignment semua. so abah.. hehehe

um, last but not least, um, ana kan sebenarnya kalau boleh, insyaAllah tak mo guna nama ana la kan. tp ana tak jumpa lg nama or apa2 lah gelaran yg boleh ganti nama ana. kalau ada yg, dikurniakan Allah dgn akal yg kreatif tu, boleh lahh kalau mcm nak sumbang2 idea kee kan. hehe. ee segan pula cmni. takpelah. segan2.

okay, sekian.

JGN LUPA SOLAT TERAWIH AND BACA AYAT2 ALLAH YE SEMUA. and of course, others ibadah :)
may Allah bless us

assalamualaikum

perkongsian

assalamualaikum semua! jawab salam jawab.. ana sdg mendoakan korang tu ;)


sooo, seperti yg dijanjikan. ana nak share satu video yang dah membuka mata dan membuatkan ia terbeliak sekejap. dan juga membuka minda dan menambah pengetahuan ana. ana rasa mungkin dh ramai yg tahu pasal video ni, tp bg ana yg agak ketinggalan ni, its better late than never. (ceh, baik punya cover)

nonetheless, selamat mem'beliakkan' mata!

*sedikit bantuan vocabulary bagi ayat2 yg ana rasa tak common dgn perbualan harian*

besieged- mengepung

abolished- dihapuskan

seized- dirampas

perpetrator- pelaku

manoeuvres- chiefly british

cunning- licik

secular - non-religion

boleh ana tau apa perasaan korang semua lepas tengok ni? sebab ana memang sgt terkejut dan tersentak dan marah serta bengang dan sedih! mcm mana sebak nya rasa bila kalifah2 tu dihalau. ya Allah.

bro Firdaus (lecturer utk class Basic Themes of AlQuran a.k.a yg tunjuk video ni kat ana and kawan2) bgtau. ini lah antara cara mcm mana dia nak hapuskan Islam. national border diwujudkan agar perpaduan umat Islam  hancur. semuanya mula memihak dan mengagung2kan 'bangsa' atau 'negara'. contohnya seperti perbalahan antara negara Indonesia and Malaysia. bergaduh tak tentu hala, memenangkan hak negara, sedangkan masing2 orang Islam.

 universiti2 yg melebih2kan bangsa mereka sendiri, tidak kiralah 'melayu' 'cina' 'india' 'sikh' atau apapun, sedangkan apa yg patut diutamakan ialah Islam. WAY OF LIFE kot. nak agungkan bangsa sendiri, apa matlamat? last2 dpt apa? memang benar kita harus tahu asal usul kita, utk kenal identiti kita, namun, lets say, kita belajar demi untuk menaikkan martabat melayu/cina/india, last2, melayu/cina/india tu boleh bagi apa je kat kita? perasaan bangga? utk apa... perasaan bangga yg kau dpt tu, berkekalan kah ia? blh buat kau bahagia kah selama2nya?

cuba kalau kita tukar, belajar demi menaikkan agama Islam. belajar kerana Allah. automatic dpt pahala. pahala yg dpt membantu kita dlm dunia selepas ini yg selama2nya. tak ke rasa berbaloi sikit usaha penat lelah selama ni? bukan sikit tapi segalanya! agama Islam itu bukan hanya utk org melayu, org jawa, tapi.UTK.SEMUA. so, bila kita dah start melabel2 ni maka di situlah bermula nya perpecahan umat Islam. semua start nak melebih2kan dan memperjuangkan bangsa dan negara masing2. sdgkan umat Islam itu seharusnya ada rasa bersaudara dan kasih syg towards each other despite the person's skin colour, his race, languages he practises and so on. macam kaum ansar dan muhajirin.

and lagi satu, kenapalah org selalu tak yakin yg Islam itu lah the REAL way yg boleh bawa to the REAL kemajuan! bukan yg memundurkan. bukan kolot. NOT AT ALL. mereka ni mungkin tak fhm Islam sedalam2nya. Islam itu agama yg syumul. meliputi segala2nya. pengetahuan Allah meliputi segala2nya, even the smallest thing, even sebesar zarah and also, what we do not see. the special field of knowledge yg Allah je tahu such as whats in the womb, bounty, what land are you going to die and the day of judgement. ada ayat dlm AQ tp maaf, ana tak ingat yg mana. nnti ana cari balik dan bgtau ye. maaf sekali lagi. tapi itulah, harap korang dpt point ana.

byk je lagi ana nak bentang ni tp masa mencemburui ana la. ana sebenarnya baru habislast paper smlm pagi. lepas tu terus abah ibu culik bawa balik kg. and pagi tadi baru lah dpt jejakkan kaki ke rumah lepas 4 minggu tak balik tau. huhu. and oh, Alhamdulillah, sebab ana tido kg smlm and ana takde plan nak buat apa kat kg, dpt lah ana hbskan satu buku ni ana pinjam from roommate (Irah), tajuk dia -versus. author - Hlovate. and masyaAllah, ana suka sgt3! ni cover dia

tulisan dia sgt sempoi and relaks utk dibaca. cerita dia comel sgttt and the best thing is motivation words dia sgt dekat dgn kita utk mudah difahamai dan diterima. hehe. bagi sape2 yg mcm tak suka novel sbb selalunya jiwang karat ke apa, try lah baca yg ni. lain tau. tak caya, ce cobe co cobe :B

and back to our main topic, kalau boleh korang search lah pasal Mustafa Kamal. ni ana ada satu link http://ayobhussin.com/siapakah_mustafa_kamal_atarturk.htm.

okay, byk sgt dah ni membebel rasanya. and ana nak minta maaf la kalau penulisan ana ini berterabur. main tulis je. sebab tak sempat dah. nak balik hostel lepas tarawikh ni. ish, rasa nak tulis pasal Ramadhan pula. tamak betul. okay2, selamat berpuasa dan menjalani ibadah ye semua! hopefuuly kita semua dpt rahmat dan maghfirat drpd bulan yg penuh keberkatan ni, bulan di mana para sahabat meraikan kedatangannya dan menagisi pemergiannya, di mana segerombolan malaikat diketuai Jibril turun pd wktu malam hngga subuh, di mana setiap pahala terbentang luas dan pintu2 syurga dibuka & pintu2 neraka ditutup. haa. kan dh pjg, dah mula nak membebel lagi tu. stop farah nabilah stop. 

ok2

fuh. moga dlm jagaan Allah pd sesiapa yg membaca! and, terima kasih :)

assalamualaikum..

bila kita mengejar, masa yang berputar

Assalamualaikum semua :) semua yg sudi membaca sebuah blog yg sedang ditimbuni habuk dan debu2, takpe, mari kita tiup ia bersama. dan setelah bersih ia, harapnya dapat kita lihat sesuatu yg dapat memberikan makna.

kali ni rasanya ana nak menulis seolah2 ana berbicara, boleh?

skrg ni ana selalu blaja kat musolla kat blok ana tu, lepas pg seminar kefahaman Islam from kakak2 Gombak dekat situ. masa tu hari ahad pagi. so tghari tu, lepas makan, ana pon terus je mcm, eh, blaja je lah kat sini. dan Alhamdulillah, seronok je blaja kat situ. sunyi, dan menenangkan. sesekali ana ambil wuduk dan mengaji kat situ. dah rasa mcm kat bilik sendiri pula. sbb kat dlm surau mmg ada tandas. dan sebab itu pon mmg musolla utk muslimah shj so cara pemakaian mmg macam dlm dorm lah. sgt selesa. masa bersilih ganti, pd waktu petang dan malam dan wktu2 berikutnya, ana pon mmg akan pg situ lah bila nak study. sebab ada midterm exam isnin selasa rabu. and masa tu baru lah ana tahu sbnrnya ramai je yg study kat situ. suasanya tidak lah setenang hr ahad yg lalu tp takpe, ana still seronok je blaja situ sbb mmg dpt focus, kalau dlm dorm tuu, hm bergelak ketawa je lah ana ni jawabnya.

sehinggalah smpai pd suatu ptg di mana dlm musolla tu ada dlm 4 ke 5 org je lah yg blaja. masa tu, ana tgh buat revision political science ke history, ana tak pasti. dan ada sorang muslimah ni, pakai earphone dan baca buku. ada juga yg sedang baring dan mnghafal. ana pon teruskan bacaan. tiba2 masuk lah dua org muslimah ni. kedengaran bahasa yg mereka gunakan utk berbicara ialah bahasa english, mereka sgt fluent. dr situ ana boleh agak bhsa itu mmg bhsa perbualan harian mereka. penekanan di situ bukanlah penilaian baik buruk bahasa itu namun the 'language view the social reality of its speakers' by Sapir-Whorf hypothesis. ana rasa bimbang mlihat mereka yg hanya mgenakan baju kpd baju kurung. tanpa kain. mereka berjalan, berbual dan bergelak ketawa seolah2 tiada siapa di situ dan terus pg kat kwn dia, muslimah yg memakai earphone td.

mereka berbual. dgn suara yg kuat.

"mungkin nak ckp kejap je kot" bisik si hati

mereka menyambung pula dgn gelak ketawa,

"haih..."

mereka mula melabuhkan badan, melunjurkan kaki dan scra tidak sngja,

"Astaghfirullahalazimm" ana terlihat apa yg tidak patut ana lihat.

marah sgt rasanya. tidak wujudkah rasa malu? ana juga perasan beberapa muslimah yg lain terlihat aurat saudara kami sndiri yg tidak patut kami lihat. ini surau ya anti.

tidakkah anti menggunakan mata yg dikurnia Allah smpai tak perasan ke ada byk manusia lain kat sekeliling anti yg sedang dlm posisi tu? tak terjana kah oleh minda anti tentang apa pndangan org lain tntg anti? tidakkah wujud perasaan hormat pd org sekeliling? kalau tidak pon, hormat lah pd surau ni.

marah marah. buku yg dipegang diletakkan ke lantai. geram. otak tidak dpt lagi fokus pada pembelajaran. suara mereka yg bingit, hilaian yg melalaikan, hilangnya rasa hormat pd org di sekeliling, mereka ke hulu ke hilir, keluar masuk tandas dan surau sbb bilik mereka mmg betul2 blkg surau tu. seolah2 tempat tu mereka yg punya.

"guys, i need to study" kdengaran suara kawan mrk yg blajar sblm mrk dtg tu

"ya, just study. dont need to entertain us here"

"but i need to be alonneee"

"okaayyy, we're not goin to bother you. just study"
"ya, see, you are alone now. dont talk to me" *playing with phone*

but that muslimah yg nak study still tak dpt apa yg dia nak. yelah, lps tu tetiba sorang ni cite benda ni lah pastu gelak lah and so on. smpai 2 kali tau that muslimah yg nak blaja kena mention kat diorng yg dia nak study.

and ana pon mcm, eishhh dia nak study tu so blah laaaa. geramnyaa. ee. sebab masa tu mmg ana dlm proses nak pg tegur ke tak nak sbb mmg ana distracted sgt3. dgn pkaian yg menampakkan aurat diorang kat ana nya. and ana rasa muslimah2 lain yg tgh study kat situ pon mmg bengang la.

tgh diorang gelak2 tu, tiba2 ana pon bangun, and pg kat diorang

"excuse me sisters, can u pls slow down yr voice bcs some ppl are studying here. and btw sister, its kind of unappropriate for you to wear like this in musolla, you know, and it also effect us who saw yr aurat. pls respect the musolla its for everyone's use"

"ah? hello, this is not your musolla"

"ya. and its not yours either"

"go to the library"

"go to hell"


tekejut tak?

okay. that is now what had happened. i just come with the 'go to hell' while writing this just now. sorry. maybe relieve stress dpt habis 3 paper. but i did planned on saying the previous dialogues. i just dont have the guts. but deep in my self, i really really really want to tegur them.

and this time, for real, i stood up, walked with idk, what kind of spirit that got into me and i said

"excuse me sisters, can u pls slow down yr voice a lil bit, bcs, we are stdyng here, so, ya.."
"thank you"

*smile*

and go.

fuuuh!

i remembered their expression

okay, kena tegur. staring at each other anddd yah.

i can hear they are saying something but its very not crystal clear but i can guess that they are not so mad or pissed off lah with my words.

so the two of them stood up then walked into their room.

and did not come back again.

truth be told, among all the stories i wanted to share, i dont know why i come up with this story. i think maybe its my first time to really control my self and tegur those group yang, i am familiar with but not very interested in. im not judging. its just my personal opinion. and Alhamdulillah, with Allah's help, they can accept it well. on top of that, the feeling of others muslimah yg nak blaja kat situ on tht time that makes me more confident and drives me to say it.

but then, yang sedihnya,

semalam malam ana study kat sana, its like the whole group of them tgh study kat sana. most of them were focus on the books. i think the same subject tht im taking for the next day. but i did not understand why that same person wear something unappropriate again. and ya, she is not studying pon. talking to the phone. you know, sometimes i overheard her conv, she was cursing and stuffs, ana jadi geram la, ana geram bila tgok diorang buat musolla tu jdi macam 'tempat' utk diorang nak buat pape je diorang nak. kalau for the purpose of studying and doing good things, act properly, okay. iniiii... haish. ana rasa bersalah bila teringat apa yg kakak from Gombak tu kata masa masuk musolla tu. dia rasa mcm tenang je la musolla tu, suci.

tapi sekarang, ada pencemaran yg sdg berlaku!

and ada one of my friend pon cakap, dulu dia selalu juga dtg that musolla, solat ramai2, now dah tak best dah. tgh dok solat tiba2 dgr suara org mengilai lah apa.

hmmm. sedih lah. ana rasa, ana nak tampal notis

COVER YOUR AURAH BETWEEN MUSLIMAH PROPERLY. PLEASE, RESPECT THE MUSOLLA AND OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIORITY. YOUR COORPERATION IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU :)

ha. kan. mcm tu. kalau tulis bm takut dia pg cari kamus pula ye. hehe.

moga Allah beri saudara2 ku petunjuk..

semua ini hanyalah luahan hati dan perasaan ana, yg rindu sgt pg family yg dah 3 minggu tak jumpa, yg tak sabar nak balik rumah sabtu ni insyaAllah dan buat apa yg ana plan nak buat. byk sgt keinginan! dan byk sgt halangan. harap2 Allah permudahkan urusan ana, dan anda yg membaca. aminn

maaf atas sgla kesalahan ana. segala yg baik itu dtg dr Allah, dan segala yg salah itu dtg dr ana sendiri dan syaitan.

*p/s- ana tak sbar nak post satu video yg membuka mata! nantikan.. (cewah)

sebenarnya, perasaan yg berkecamuk itulah yg membuatkan kita makin dekat dgn Ilahi. bila kita sudah biasa dgn suasana A, kita berasa janggal dgn suasana B. bila kita sudah biasa dgn suasana B, kita berasa janggal dgn suasana A kembali. mungkin bukan janggal, namun lalai? oleh itu, kita harus pandai memilih suasana mana yang kita mahukan namun dalam masa yang sama, kita harus belajar meyelesakan diri? mcm mana eh nk ckp. mcm mixed up? bukan. tp mengadaptasi kan diri kita di suasana yg bukan menjadi pilihan kita supaya dapat menjaga perasaan insan di sekeliling tanpa mengabaikan pendiriran kita ye. 


dan saya terfikir, mungkin, kerana itulah pentingnya psychology. psychology, suatu subjek di mana saya tersedar sebentar dr lamunan apabila seorang lecturer berkata "as i can see just now, there are a lot of you who wants to do major in psychology. do you know wht psychology is? i know, all of you must think that we can read people's mind right?"


there. when i think again, oh aah lah ya, somehow i do have tht kind of mindset but now, not anymore. only Allah can know his own slave's heart and mind right. so we, as psychology students will not and never know how to read people's mind but what we learn is, understanding mind. 

I.THINK.LAH. 


goodnight. assalamualaikum :)